Heterodorx is a podcast about gender identity and expression. It is hosted by gender critical artist Nina Paley and conservative trans activist Corinna Cohn. It is unusual among podcasts for inviting on people with wide-ranging political positions and views, with a majority of them from the gender critical movement of anti-transgender activists.
Episodes
2025
Episode 171: Poop and Protocol Jun 19
Episode 170: Collective Punishment Jun 11Ā
Episode 169: TERFs, Trannies, Crohnies, Bronchies, & Geezers May 27
Episode 168: SSRIs, ADHD, and Medical Trends with Julia Mason, MD May 1Ā
Episode 167: American Taxpayer Appreciation Episode Apr 18
Episode 166: Illin’, Chillin’, & Gettin’ That Bill In Apr 11
Episode 165: Did We Win Yet? Mar 26
Episode 164: Nina’s Brain Breaks Itself Mar 12
Episode 163: Coriās Breasts Break The Internet Mar 12
The Straight-Inclusive Queer Majority with Rio Veradonir Feb 26
Executive Order 14168 Feb 14
The Ideological Capture of Tech with Bryan Lunduke Jan 30
Desecrating the PFLAG Jan 23
Lesbians, Law, and Bicycles with Glenna Goldis Jan 15
2024
The Trouble With Parents with Stephanie Winn Dec 27, 2024
Artificial Intelligence with Chris Waites
Judging US v Skrmetti with Judge TERF Nov 28
Next year in Jerusalem? Nov 21
Post Election Derangement and Schadenfreude Nov 14
Partners for Ethical Care (PEC) is an American anti-transgender front group. They are part of the “parental rights” faction of anti-transgender activists.
Lynn Meagher is an American anti-transgender extremist and unsupportive parent to two adult transgender children, both of whom are estranged from Meagher.
Meagher also uses the alias “Lynn Chadwick.” As Chadwick, Meagher is associated with anti-trans hate group Genspect and the affiliated Themis Resource Fund.
Background
Lynn Frances Meagher was born on January 26, 1962. Meagher worked in nursing in Washington State from 1985 to 2021.
According to a social media account, in 2022 Chadwick was in a relationship with biology professor Arla Hile (born 1962).
Anti-transgender activism
Meagher has appeared on religious and conservative programs. Meagher reportedly lost both children to the “transgender cult.”
Meagher’s children disagree:
āShe didnāt lose me to a cult,ā her eldest daughter said, clarifying that she is estranged from her mum because Meagher is āracistā, āabusiveā, ātransphobicā, āgreedyā, ācruelā and āreligiously intolerantā.
āShe lost me because sheās a piece of s**t,ā she added. āItās true, we wonāt speak to her, although her TERF-ness was only the tip of the iceberg. She was extremely emotionally and physically abusive growing up.ā
Meagher frequently appears at anti-trans events and was part of the group blog Compassion Coalition. On that blog, Meagher’s self-written bio states:
Lynn works as an advocate for parents of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) kids and as a spokesperson for the Kelsey Coalition. She feels honored to work with many gifted and talented women through the Hands Across the Aisle coalition.
Lynn has recently become involved in activism against Drag Queen Story Hours at public libraries and helped to start Ask Moms on Facebook to inform and equip ordinary people everywhere to stand against the sexualization of children. She worked as a nurse in Neonatal Intensive Care for 28 years.
Dead Name is an anti-transgender media piece about three unaccepting parents of their trans and gender diverse children. Following its release it was banned by Vimeo as hateful content.
Background
Taylor Reece is the director and co-producer. It was produced by Broken Hearted Films, an LLC founded in New York in June 2022 by anti-trans activist and unaccepting parent Tina Traster.
Reece describes the piece as “an intimate portrait of three parents whose lives have been shaken and forever altered because their children have declared (or have been given) a transgender identity.”
The featured parents are Amy, Helen, and Bill. The children are not interviewed to get their side of things. Also in the film are anti-trans activists Stephen Levine and Brandon Showalter.
Release and removal
The piece was on Vimeo for about a month before being pulled. Many anti-trans extremists got involved in promoting the project following its removal, including Brandon Showalter, Oren Amitay, Ben Appel, Peter Boghossian, and Alline Cormier.
“Alix Aharon” is the stage name of Alexandra “Alix” Hecht, a Scottish anti-transgender activist. Hecht is a co-founder of anti-transgender group Partners for Ethical Care.
Hecht took data from a map of trans-supportive healthcare providers to create an anti-trans project called The Gender Offender Mapper (later called The Gender Mapping Project). Hecht is an advisor for Women’s Liberation Front (WoLF).
Background
Hecht was born in Glasgow, Scotland. Hecht graduated from Craigholme School for Girls in 2003 and earned a bachelor’s degree from University of Aberdeen in 2007. Hecht has worked in sales for SuperDerivatives, Checkmarx, WalkMe, AppSee, dLocal, Wishbox, Duve, and Coro.
Hecht reportedly had an “aggressive eating disorder” for ten years. Hecht reportedly emigrated to Israel and spends time in California and Tel Aviv.
Hecht has used a number of aliases:
Alix Aharon
Alexandra Hecht
Lara Alix
Alix Hecht
Alex Hecht
Lara Alix Hecht
Anti-trans activism
While living in Israel, Hecht reportedly saw a 2019 documentary on four young trans men who were scheduled to serve in the Israeli Defense Force. Hecht was enraged and embarked on anti-trans activism.
Hecht’s most notable project is the Gender Offender Mapper.
Hecht has appeared on and has been mentioned in conservative and fascist media, including Newsmax and New York Post.
Hecht has logrolled for other anti-trans efforts, such as the documentary Trans Mission: What’s the Rush to Reassign Gender? Hecht called it “crucial.”
Leveille, Lee (July 5, 2021). The Mechanisms of TAnon: Where it Came From.Health Liberation Now! https://healthliberationnow.com/2021/07/05/the-mechanisms-of-tanon-where-it-came-from/
Leveille, Lee (April 12, 2021). The Mechanisms of TAnon: What is āTAnonā?Health Liberation Now! https://healthliberationnow.com/2021/04/12/the-mechanisms-of-tanon-what-is-tanon/
Jennifer Lahl is an American nursing executive and anti-transgender activist. Lahl is is founder and president of The Center for Bioethics and Culture Network, an organization that opposes reproductive freedom and bodily autonomy.
In addition to opposing trans healthcare, Lahl opposes stem cell research, assisted suicide, egg and sperm donation, and surrogacy. Lahl calls these practices “egg and womb trafficking.”
Background
Jennifer D. Chenoweth was born on May 9, 1958, then earned a bachelor’s degree from California State University, Fullerton and a master’s degree from Trinity International University in 2000.
Lahl married marketing executive and church planter Daniel E. “Dan” Lahl (born October 7, 1956). Both attended Trinity International University. They have three children, Allison, Julia, and Katherine.
Jennifer Lahl has worked as a pediatric critical care nurse and administrator. Lahl’s California licenses were as a registered nurse (1982ā2021) and public health nurse (1985ā2019).
Lahl’s film projects have included:
Lines That Divide: The Great Stem Cell Debate (2009)
Eggsploitation (2010)
Anonymous Fatherās Day (2011)
Breeders: A Subclass of Women? (2014)
Maggie’s Story (2015)
Compassion and Choice: Denied (2016)
#BigFertility: It’s All about the Money (2018)
Anti-transgender activism
Lahl produced the 2021 film Trans Mission: Whatās the Rush to Reassign Gender? It is critical of gender affirming care for youth.
In 2022 Lahl produced a documentary on the ex-transgender movement The Detransition Diaries: Saving Our Sisters.
Helen Lewis is a British author and anti-transgender activist who launders gender critical extremism into mainstream media. Lewis is one of the key importers of British anti-trans views into United States media. Lewis is a key media figure from the reactionary center publishing anti-trans writing.
Lewis is a sex segregationist who claims to be writing from a feminist and leftist viewpoint. Lewis demonstrates that anti-trans sentiment extends into every political point of view and movement.
Lewis’ anti-trans views center around:
Challenging legal recognition of trans people in systems developed on the basis of sex, particularly opposing the UK’s Gender Recognition Act
Maintaining systems of sex segregation, particularly in matters of law, public accommodation, prisons, sports, and other remaining sex-segregated institutions
Maintaining the strict gatekeeping of trans healthcare via government control, developed under nationalized heath systems (so-called “gender clinics”) in the 20th century
Maintaining medico-juridical control over trans and gender diverse people though disease models and medical requirements for legal recognition (sterilization requirements, etc.)
Maintaining non-affirming models of care for gender diverse youth, developed last century for “the prevention of transsexualism” and now widely outlawed
Promoting anti-trans government reports created as pretexts to restrict or ban gender-affirming care for minors, including the Cass Review and the 2025 Trump HHS report.
Lewis frequently promotes and collaborates with other anti-trans activists, notably Jesse Singal and Katie Herzog of the podcast Blocked and Reported. Lewis is their most frequent guest.
Background
Helen Alexandra Lewis was born on September 30, 1983, grew up Catholic in Worcester, and attended St Mary’s School there. Lewis then read English at St Peter’s College, Oxford, followed by a journalism degree from City University London. Lewis no longer identifies as Catholic.
After graduating, Lewis worked at the Daily Mail, then joined the New Statesman in 2010. Lewis married designer and creative director Matthew “Matt” Hasteley in 2010 and wrote professionally as Helen Lewis-Hasteley from 2010 until their divorce in 2013. During the marriage, Lewis met and got involved with someone else, eventually leaving the marriage. Like many gender-critical public figures, this starter marriage seems to have had a significant impact on Lewis’ views about sex and gender.
Lewis married Guardian digital editor Jonathan Haynes in 2015. In 2019 Lewis joined the staff of The Atlantic, which has never had an out trans person listed on their masthead in its 160+ years of existence. In 2020 game developer Ubisoft removed Lewis’ voice from in-game audio in Watch Dogs: Legion due to transphobic views.
Anti-trans activism
In 2013, Lewis devoted a week at the New Statesman to trans issues, inviting trans-supportive authors to publish pieces. By late 2015, Lewis began writing increasingly frequent anti-trans pieces there.
2017 Times op-ed
Lewis has been critical of the UK’s Gender Recognition Act, claiming that what used to be called the “real life test” that lasts for two years should be required for anyone to be legally recognized as their gender. In a piece for The Times titled “A man canāt just say he has turned into a woman,” Lewis wrote:
What the government proposes is a radical rewriting of our understanding of identity: now itās a question of an internal essence ā a soul, if you will. Being a woman or a man is now entirely in your head. In this climate, who would challenge someone with a beard exposing their penis in a womenās changing room? Thatās why feminists have raised the alarm over the move to self-identification, along with some older trans people who fear that ātrendstersā will erode the goodwill they have worked hard to acquire.
Removal from Watch Dogs: Legion
By 2018, Lewis’ anti-trans views were so well-known that Lewis was removed as a featured voice in the game Watch Dogs: Legion. This “cancellation” caused Lewis to start making even more strident and frequent attacks on trans people.
2018 New Statesman op-ed
While writing for The New Statesman, Lewis was accused of laundering transphobic talking points into a major media outlet around the topics of sex segregation and trans healthcare for youth.
Want to talk about how letting people self-define their gender might affect female-only spaces such as prisons and changing rooms? Then youāre a bigot, cloaking your bigotry in the language of ālegitimate concernsā. Want to discuss whether we are rushing to medicalise gender non-conforming children because they and their desperate parents have been sold the idea there is a universal āfixā for their profound, genuine unhappiness? These are yet more ālegitimate concernsā that can be dismissed, even as medical professionals warn that not every gender non-conforming child will benefit from puberty blockers and (later) medical transition.
We should all be in favour of the right of transgender people to live their lives free of discrimination, harassment and abuse. […] But the right of someone who has been through male puberty, with the consequences for skeleton and muscle development that brings, to compete in womenās sports that depend on raw strength? Thatās more difficult. […]
Our ideas about gender are undergoing a profound shift. I hope that they will end up in a place where a boy can wear a princess dress without people assuming he is āreallyā a girl.
2018 GQ interview of Jordan Peterson
In September 2018, Lewis interviewed fellow anti-trans activist Jordan Peterson for GQ. It quickly turned into a tense but civil debate that went viral. One of the few times they agree in the 90-minute conversation is on what Lewis calls “transgender issues.” At about 1:09.45, Lewis’s views overlap significantly with Peterson’s anti-trans viewpoints. Lewis repeats the unsupported generalization that “transgender activists” believe they have a “female soul.” Lewis also believes “We are very quick to diagnose and treat children in a way that I find ā and not waiting for the research ā and that I find concerning.”
The Atlantic
In July 2019, Lewis joined anti-trans publication The Atlantic as a staff writer and began writing anti-trans pieces even more frequently.
Steinfeld, J. (2020). Not my turf: Helen Lewis argues that vitriol around the trans debate means only extreme voices are being heard. Index on Censorship, 49(1), 34ā35. https://doi.org/10.1177/0306422020917609
Lewis, Helen (2025). The Genius Myth: A Curious History of a Dangerous Idea. Thesis, ISBN 979-8217178582
Lewis, Helen (2021). Difficult Women: A History of Feminism in 11 Fights. Vintage, ISBN 978-1784709730 alternatively titled Difficult Women: An Imperfect History of Feminism
Lewis, Helen [presenter] (2021). The Spark: 11 Ideas to Change the World. BBC Audio, ASIN B091FTHY11
with Emily Oster, Hilary Cottam, Paul Krugman, Roy Baumeister, Margaret Heffernan, Stuart Russell, Peter Macfadyen, Pragya Agarwal, Paul Collier and John Kay, Kiran Gill, Chris Daw
Lewis, Helen (April 18, 2025). Britain Rules on What a Woman Is.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/04/britain-rules-woman-supreme-court/682511/
Lewis, Helen (February 24, 2025). The Internetās Favorite Sex Researcher.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/02/aella-internet-sex-researcher/681813/
Lewis, Helen (March 19, 2024). The Worst Argument for Youth Transition.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/03/trans-youth-transition-andrea-long-chu/677796/
Lewis, Helen (December 8, 2023). The Left Canāt Afford to Go Mad.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/01/trump-biden-democratic-left-opposition/676141/
Lewis, Helen (August 8, 2023). The Gender War Is Over in Britain.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/08/uk-trans-rights-labour-party/674944/
Lewis, Helen (May 4, 2023). The Only Way Out of the Child-Gender Culture War.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/05/texas-puberty-blockers-gender-care-transgender-rights/673941/
Lewis, Helen (May 4, 2023). The Hogwarts Legacy Boycott That Wasnāt.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/04/hogwarts-legacy-game-jk-rowling-transphobia-accusation/673583/
Lewis, Helen (September 2, 2022). What If Joan of Arc Wasnāt a Woman?The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/09/joan-of-arc-nonbinary-globe/671321/
Lewis, Helen (August 18, 2022). How Social Justice Became a New Religion.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/08/social-justice-new-religion/671172/
Lewis, Helen (February 27, 2022). The Twitching Generation.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/02/social-media-illness-teen-girls/622916/
Lewis, Helen (26 October 2021). In Defense of Saying āPregnant Women.āThe Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/10/pregnant-women-people-feminism-language/620468/ [headline stealth edited to Why Iāll Keep Saying āPregnant Womenā]
Lewis, Helen (13 October 2021). Dave Chappelleās Rorschach Test.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/10/dave-chappelle-the-closer/620364/
Lewis, Helen (March 16, 2021). The Identity Hoaxers.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2021/03/krug-carrillo-dolezal-social-munchausen-syndrome/618289/
Lewis, Helen (April 2021). What Happened to Jordan Peterson?The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/04/what-happened-to-jordan-peterson/618082/
Lewis, Helen (July 14, 2020). How Capitalism Drives Cancel Culture.The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/07/cancel-culture-and-problem-woke-capitalism/614086/
Lewis, Helen (July 2020). Why Millennial Harry Potter Fans Reject JK Rowling. [stealth edited to How J. K. Rowling Became Voldemort] The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/07/why-millennial-harry-potter-fans-reject-jk-rowling/613870/
Lewis, Helen (February 27, 2020). Feminismās Purity Wars.The Atlantichttps://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/02/feminism-mens-rights-activism-cancel-culture/607057/
Lewis, Helen (28 October 2016). Would you let your child change their gender?New Statesman https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk-politics/2016/10/would-you-let-your-child-change-their-gender
Lewis, Helen (14 January 2013). Introducing Trans Issues Week.New Statesman https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2013/01/introducing-trans-issues-week
Note: In 2025, this site phased out AI illustrations after artist feedback. The previous illustration is here.
Caitlyn Jenner is an American media personality and Olympic gold medalist. Upon coming out as transgender in 2015, Jenner became the most famous transgender person alive. Jenner’s conservative views frequently cause tension with more progressive trans community members.
Background
Caitlyn Marie Jenner was born on October 28, 1949 in Mount Kisco, New York. Jenner attended high school in Sleepy Hollow, New York and Newtown, Connecticut. Jenner earned a bachelor’s degree from Graceland College in 1973. While there, Jenner played football until an injury forced a switch to decathlon. Jenner placed 10th in decathlon at the 1972 Summer Olympics. After that, Jenner dominated the event through the 1976 Summer Olympics. That gold medal and world record made Jenner a national hero.
Jenner secured many endorsement deals and began appearing in film and television regularly for the next 30 years. In 2007 Jenner’s family starred in the hit unscripted series Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
Jenner has been married three times and has six children and four stepchildren. Jenner was married to Kris Kardashian from 1991 to 2015. In 2015, as transition rumors swirled, Jenner was involved in a fatal car crash. Jenner and trans entrepreneur Sophia Hutchins met in 2015 and had a close personal and professional relationship until Hutchins’ death in 2025.
As a transgender public figure
Jenner’s coming out as trans caused a media frenzy, including appearances on magazine covers and many interviews in print and television. Jenner starred in the “unscripted” series I Am Cait with “friends” Jennifer Finney Boylan, Candis Cayne, Zackary Drucker, Chandi Moore, Jen Richards, Mimi Marks, and Kate Bornstein. Jenner also made a cameo on Transparent and continued appearing in film and television. Jenner was named one of 25 Glamour Women of the Year and received other recognitions, including the 2016 Time 100. In 2017 Jenner published a memoir, The Secrets of My Life, and had facial feminization surgery and bottom surgery. In 2017, Jenner founded the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation. The board included Andrea Metz, Nick Adams, and Zackary Drucker, with Sophia Hutchins as an executive.
Jenner made a number of controversial comments after coming out, such as joking that the hardest part about being a woman “is figuring out what to wear.” The glib sexist comments combined with the media attention led to a backlash among many conservatives and anti-transgender activists.
Jenner has continued to take conservative positions and make controversial comments about LGBT issues that have led to backlash from the community. Ellen Degeneres pressed Jenner about opposing gay marriage. Jenner’s comments about transgender athletes became a major talking point in 2021 during an unsuccessful run for California governor. In 2022 Jenner joined Fox News as an on-air contributor. In 2023 Jenner founded the Fairness First PAC “to keep boys out of women’s sports.”
The Guardian is a British media organization. Their transgender coverage has been criticized for anti-trans bias.
Background
The Guardian published an anti-trans piece by Julie Bindel in 2004. Over the following years, the paper became increasingly anti-trans in its stance. A 2018 letter to the editor by anti-trans activist Kathleen Stock and others led to complaints and protests. In 2020, anti-trans contributor Suzanne Moore left following an incendiary piece attacking social constructionist views about sex. More than 200 politicians, journalists, and activists signed a letter denouncing the piece. Moore later said many other comments had been removed because of “denial of female biology.” In 2021, The Guardian censored a comment by Judith Butler:
The Terfs (trans exclusionary radical feminists) and the so-called gender critical writers have also rejected the important work in feminist philosophy of science showing how culture and nature interact (such as Karen Barad, Donna Haraway, EM Hammonds or Anne Fausto-Sterling) in favor of a regressive and spurious form of biological essentialism. So they will not be part of the coalition that seeks to fight the anti-gender movement. The anti-gender ideology is one of the dominant strains of fascism in our times. So the Terfs will not be part of the contemporary struggle against fascism, one that requires a coalition guided by struggles against racism, nationalism, xenophobia and carceral violence, one that is mindful of the high rates of femicide throughout the world, which include high rates of attacks on trans and genderqueer people.
The anti-gender movement circulates a spectre of āgenderā as a force of destruction, but they never actually read any works in gender studies. Quick and fearful conclusions take the place of considered judgments. Yes, some work on gender is difficult and not everyone can read it, so we have to do better in reaching a broader public. As important as it is, however, to make complex concepts available to a popular audience, it is equally important to encourage intellectual inquiry as part of public life. Unfortunately, we are living in anti-intellectual times, and neo-fascism is becoming more normalized.
2018 open letter
In 2018 an open letter by critics of the Gender Recognition Act included many key anti-transgender extremists. They are reordered alphabetically by surname below.
Sophie Allen, Lecturer in Philosophy, Keele University
Rosalind Barber, English & Comparative Literature, Goldsmiths, University of London
Chetan Bhatt, Professor of Human Rights, Sociology, London School of Economics
Michael Biggs, Associate Professor in Sociology and Fellow of St Cross College, University of Oxford
Diane Brewster (Retired. ex University of Sussex and Open University)
Catherine Butler, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, University of Bath
Richard Byng, Professor in Primary Care Research, University of Plymouth
Alex Byrne, Head of Linguistics and Philosophy Department, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
W Burlette Carter, Professor of Law Emeritus, The George Washington University Law School, Washington, DC
Jackie Cassell, Head of the Department of Primary Care and Public Health, Brighton and Sussex Medical School
Clare Chambers, Reader in Philosophy, University of Cambridge
John Collins, Philosophy, University of East Anglia
Sophia Connell, Philosophy, Birkbeck College London
Stephen Cowden, Senior Lecturer in Social Work, Coventry University
Rosie Dias, Associate Professor, History of Art, University of Warwick
Debbie Epstein, Professor of Cultural Studies in Education, School of Education, University of Roehampton, London
Rosa Freedman PhD, LLM, LLB, Professor of Law Conflict and Global Development, Director Global Development Division, Co-Director United Nations and Global Order Research Programme, University of Reading
John Gardner FBA, Professor of Law and Philosophy, All Souls College, Oxford
Richard Garside, Director, Centre for Crime and Justice Studies, Senior Visiting Research Fellow, Open University
Leslie Green, Philosophy of Law, Balliol College, Oxford
Liz Guy, School of Computing, Engineering & Mathematics, University of Brighton
Mike Hannis, Senior Lecturer in Environmental Humanities (Ethics and Sustainability), Bath Spa University
PM Higgins, Honorary Research Fellow, Royal Holloway University of London; former Professor of Music, University of Nottingham; former KƤthe-Leichter Visiting Professor of Womenās and Gender Studies, University of Vienna
Akrivos D (2022). Transgender reporting in the British press: editorial standards and discursive harms in the post-Leveson era. Journal of Media Law Volume 14, 2022 – Issue 2 https://doi.org/10.1080/17577632.2022.2153216
Stone, Gemma (June 7, 2021). The Guardian is Transphobic.Medium https://medium.com/@notCursedE/the-guardian-is-transphobic-eebd0d5ea63a
Penka Kouneva, aka “Vera Lindner,” is a Bulgarian-American anti-transgender activist who produced the 2023 anti-trans film No Way Back. This supplemental information outlines her path to anti-transgender activism.
2022 IWF profile
This is a transcript of an interview she did with Independent Women’s Forum.
There is a huge overlap between autism and transgenderism, and the professionals need to be asked, “Why, why are there so many trans-identified individuals who are also autistic?
I am a mother of 15-year-old daughter who began to identify as transgender in the summer of 2020, during the lockdown. At the time we didnāt know that our child has autism. Sheās highly functioning autistic, what used to be called Aspergerās. Gifted, highly intelligent. During the lockdown, these eighth graders were not really interested in school. It was such a time of trauma and confusion. What these girls did is they started watching TikTok and Instagram videos all day long. I mean pretty much nonstop, and what I noticed over the summer of 2020, these four girls who were part of a friendship group where only one girl identified as transgender, they began kind of nudging each other to also identify as transgender, to make up male names, male pronouns.
And in August of 2020 my daughter also started to identify as transgender, which was a total shock. I didnāt expect it to happen because up until the week before she made the declaration, she said, “Iām a proud lesbian and Iām a Democrat,” so I thought, “This is perfectly fine. Iām cool you’re a proud lesbian, thatās fine.” And then a week later, she said, “Donāt call me a woman. Donāt call me a girl. Donāt call me she. I am a guy Iām your son.”
Weāre like “OK. Exploration is fine. You know, try different things.” What happened immediately after the trans declaration is that she began to ask for things. She said “I want testosterone. I want you to buy me these things from Amazon. Theyāre like boosting for testosterone. I want a binder.” And this is where I really understood there is a medical harm. There is a medical destruction involved in changing oneās sex. And this is where I had to draw the line.
So earlier in June of the lockdown year 2020, my child very much demanded to see a gender specialist. My intuition told me that this is not a good path, and I said, “Listen, Iām going to find an LGBT supportive therapist, but not necessarily a gender therapist.” We chose an older woman lesbian in her mid-70s. I trusted her experience, especially her perspective as a lesbian, something I donāt have. As soon as my daughter announced the transgender self-identification, and a new name, the therapist began to call her by the new name and call her “he.” At the time I spoke with a therapist via email basically saying, “My daughter has autism, ADDF, anxiety, and depression. Why isnāt it cool anymore to be a lesbian? Can you explore these issues?” I also wrote to the therapist. “Out of the five friends, four are now identifying as transgender. Could this be peer influence?” None of these questions were ever addressed.
The therapist said, “Testosterone is going to bring you gender congruity. Try to see if you can. Call your parents’ insurance to ask if youāre eligible at the age of 14,” basically confusing her even more. Instead of actually exploring the real issues. I feel very strongly that the therapist was giving very wrong ideas, very confusing ideas to my child. Ultimately leading to my child falling into a mental breakdown. Which exemplified itself as a total depression. My child was in her room all day long lying on the floor, catatonic with the cell phone in her hands, watching TikTok videos. I did ask the therapist, “Please speak with my child to essentially minimize the time on social media,” and the therapist’s reply was, “Oh, you know, she has a broken heart. She hast to soothe herself and distract herself with social media.”
As a mother, my intuition told me that I had to approach this problem holistically. We had anti-depressants, medications, we had physical movement, and being in touch with nature. We hiked. We did exercises, and basically we left our community. We left our home in Southern California, and I used this as the reason why we just wanted to go on hiatus from the therapist. I understood intuitively that I had to be very diplomatic, that I couldnāt make a statement that would get me in trouble, because I already had read stories where parents had lost custody of their children, because of their gender critical views. In my mind, I was determined not to allow this person to poison my childās mind anymore.
My daughter had a summer job as a volunteer in a farming community. And that return to real people, real stories, spending less time on social media, has been the most healing, gradually over time, especially with the medications and being outside. The mental health of my child started to improve.
What I had to do is show love, support, and kindness without affirming the delusion. Without the affirming the ideology, and drawing a very clear boundary that youāre loved, youāre safe, but we will do absolutely nothing medical until you are 18.
I have been a lifelong voting Democrat since I was naturalized in 2002. Iām profoundly disappointed that the Democratic Party has chosen to affirm a delusion, and a very toxic ideology that attacks these vulnerable children, these children, who come from trauma, who come from adverse childhood experiences, who are neurodivergent, such as autistic, or with ADD, ADHD. I entrusted my child with professionals, and instead of the teachers and the doctor saying, “OK now letās get to the bottom of this. Why are you saying youāre not a girl?” The teachers and the doctors blindly affirmed. They perpetuate the delusion.
Weāre talking about autistic people who think in black-and-white, they donāt see nuance. They hyperfixate over ideas. Most people say, “Oh, when you confirm your child, they will blossom, this is their true, authentic self.” This is not true. Their true, authentic self is sheās an autistic woman. Sheās a girl, sheās not a boy. These children need to be taught what is the reality, and they need to be taught coping skills, and just skills to live to be functional adults. Instead, their minds are being poisoned with lies, within truth, and harmful ideology.
And as a parent who has watched this firsthand with my child with her friends, I have to fight this. Thereās no other way for me.
