Skip to content

Trans Widows Voices vs. transgender people

Trans Widows Voices is a British website containing about two dozen anonymous and unverifiable first-hand reports from contributors (mostly cisgender women) who say their spouse or partner came out as transgender. In almost every case, they describe the relationship ending soon after.

Background

“Trans widow” is a slang term used by unaccepting partners of a transgender spouse. It was popularized on the anti-trans forum Mumsnet and has come into wider use through prominent anti-trans activists who identify as “trans widows,” including “Ute Heggen” (aka Karen Ranney, aka “Bertina” on Trans Widows Voices) and “Shannon Thrace” (Shae Ramsey).

According to the site:

“A trans widow is a woman (usually heterosexual) whose male partner or husband believes that they have a gender identity other than “man” or who cross dresses.  Often women also report having experienced that their husband or partner has autogynephilia (AGP).”

Anti-trans activism

The website owner began publishing as “TinselAngel” on anti-trans forum Mumsnet in 2017, seeking other members of the “Trans Widows escape committee,” the first of many threads in the series. The “TransWidows” Twitter account was launched in October 2018. “TinselAngel” has also posted on anti-trans forums Spinster and Ovarit, noting on Ovarit “I’m the OP of the Mumsnet Trans Widows threads and owner of www.transwidowsvoices.org.”

“TinselAngel” launched the website in March 2020 with four first-hand reports, including a personal testimony. “TinselAngel” was married with a young child at the time their marriage ended. It was the second marriage for “TinselAngel’s” trans spouse. According to the first-hand report on the site:

“I left a month before our tenth wedding anniversary and a mere few weeks before he began “living as a woman”. I should have left five years earlier when he dropped his trousers in our living room to show me an insect bite, and had forgotten he was wearing pink lacy women’s knickers under his work clothes. This was one of the many times that I accidentally found out he had broken his word to stop cross dressing.

I had kept this secret for the 13 years that we were together. Unable to get advice or lighten the load. There was no support available and I had been too ashamed to tell my friends and family.

I begged and pleaded for him to stay as the man that I loved and married, but as he came closer to transitioning a cold, detached stranger seemed to have taken my husband’s place. I recall him saying he was no longer sorry for what he was doing to us.

I thought leaving would be the end of me, but it was actually leaving that saved me. Imagine if I had stayed and had to cheerlead the slow death of the person that I married and the emergence of a stranger?”

Most of the other stories also have themes of isolation, loss, betrayal, and anger.

In November 2020, Trans Widows Voices submitted a response to the UK Parliament’s Women and Equalities Select Committee call for evidence on the Gender Recognition Act.

In 2021, The Telegraph featured the website alongside Yvonne Williams and Jennifer Kimmel, whose marriages ended after their spouses made gender transitions.

In 2024, anti-trans filmmaker Vaishnavi Sundar released Behind the Looking Glass, which features 18 people, many of whom also shared their stories on Trans Widows Voices.

In 2026, Amnesty International UK published reports on anti-rights activity in the UK and listed Trans Widows Voices in the “gender critical” category. In response, Children of Transitioners and Trans Widows Voices sent a joint letter of complaint that states in part:

Children of Transitioners and Trans Widows Voices are small, volunteer-led, grassroots organisations. We have no institutional funding, no paid staff, no legal department and no communications team. We exist solely to support people facing profoundly difficult personal circumstances, particularly women and children who have experienced abuse or family breakdown—people whom we would have expected Amnesty International to protect, not publicly characterise as part of an “anti-rights” movement.

Accordingly, we ask Amnesty International UK to:

  • conduct an urgent review of the inclusion of our organisations in these reports;
  • remove Children of Transitioners and Trans Widows Voices from the reports if that inclusion cannot be properly evidenced;
  • publish an appropriate correction and public apology for the harm caused by our inclusion; and
  • provide a substantive written response addressing the issues raised in this letter.

Other recommended materials

Trans Widows Voices recommends a number of other anti-trans projects, including:

References

Staff report (July 2026). A Growing Threat – the Anti-Rights Movement in the UK. Amnesty International UK original url https://www.amnesty.org.uk/knowledge-hub/all-resources/report-a-growing-threat-the-anti-rights-movement-in-the-uk-july-2026/ backup https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UggI-VPSk7uWpw4xIWS2lua3x-rF2A8T/view

Staff report (May 21, 2026). Report: Like a Snowball: the Growth and Impact of the Gender Critical Movement in the UK. Amnesty International UK https://media.amnesty.org.uk/documents/Like_a_snowball_final_.pdf

Anti-trans coverage

Taylor, Jessica (September 4, 2024). ‘Widows’ whose husbands came out as transgender women during their marriages allege their partners sexually and physically abused them if they did not ‘affirm’ the new identity. Daily Mail https://www.dailymail.com/lifestyle/article-13808461/trans-widows-heartbreak-transgender-husbands.html

Smith, Victoria (September 3, 2024). Perfect victims and a tale of two films. The Critic https://thecritic.co.uk/perfect-victims-and-a-tale-of-two-films/

Somerville, Ewan (June 20, 2021). ‘Trans widows’ fear being trapped in loveless marriages if gender law changes. The Telegraph https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/06/20/trans-widows-fear-trapped-loveless-marriages-gender-law-changes/

Cleckley, Donovan (March 30, 2021). These Chains That Have No Name: Interview with Trans Widows Voices. Women Are Human https://www.womenarehuman.com/these-chains-that-have-no-name-interview-with-trans-widows-voices/ [archive]

Selected publications by Trans Widows Voices

Children of Transitioners and Trans Widows Voices (July 11, 2026). Complaint to Amnesty International Chief Executive Kerry Moscogiuri. https://x.com/transwidows/status/2076253468746985655

Trans Widows Voices (November 2020). Written evidence submitted by Trans Widows Voices [GRA0344]. https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/16197/pdf/

“transwidows” (July 15, 2020). The Spousal Exit Clause: Trans Widows’s Rights Are Not Yours to Give Away. Uncommon Ground Media https://uncommongroundmedia.com/spousal-exit-clause/

“transwidows” (May 20, 2020). Which Side Are You On, Girls? The Role of Trans Widows in Feminism. Uncommon Ground Media https://uncommongroundmedia.com/which-side-are-you-on-girls-trans-widows/

“TinselAngel” (March 21, 2020). New Transwidows website: Trans Widows Voices. Mumsnet https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3856287-New-Transwidows-website-Trans-Widows-Voices

“transwidows” (February 5, 2020). Some dads are trans. Get over it! [negative review of children’s book Nothing Ever Happens Here by Sarah Hagger Holt]. Make More Noise! https://makemorenoisemanc.wixsite.com/mysite/post/some-dads-are-trans-get-over-it

“transwidows” (January 7, 2020). Trans Widows and the Spousal “Veto”: a modern fable of male entitlement. Make More Noise! https://makemorenoisemanc.wixsite.com/mysite/post/trans-widows-and-the-spousal-veto-a-modern-fable-of-male-entitlement

“transwidows” (August 15, 2019). A Plea for Help for Feminists from a Trans Widow. Make More Noise! https://makemorenoisemanc.wixsite.com/mysite/post/a-plea-for-help-for-feminists-from-a-trans-widow

“TinselAngel” (December 1, 2017). Trans Widows escape committee. Mumsnet https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee

Media

Lime Soda Films with Vaishnavi Sundar and “Tinsel” (March 8, 2026). [Behind the Looking Glass clip] “We had no support anywhere, so I created Trans Widows’ Voices” – The story of Tinsel #BTLG. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEQFlH9NLrg

Women’s Rights Network with Sarah and “Tinsel” (May 14, 2022). Women’s Voices S02E02: WE ARE THE WOMEN WHO SAY NO – Trans Widows Voices (Audio Podcast). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqEc29oVstg

Straight Spouse Network [now OurPath] (/ SSN Voices September 1, 2020). S03E15: Tinsel Angel. https://www.straightspouse.org/voices-podcast/s3-ep-15-a-self-identified-trans-widow-speaks/ [archive]

Resources

GC Watch UK (antirights.com)

Trans Widows Voices (transwidowsvoices.org)

X/Twitter (x.com)

Spinster (spinster.xyz)

Ovarit (ovarit.com)

  • ovarit.com/u/TinselAngel [archive]