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Paying for gender transition: Your dreams

A lot of people say, “I wish I could get rich” or “I want to get in shape.” A friend of mine would say, “Those people don’t want to get in shape, they want to BE in shape. They don’t want to do the work, they just want the end result.”

This is true for transition, too. I get letters from people all the time saying, “I wish I could transition like you.” If some of them thought a lot about it, they’d see that it would not be worth it to them. They have a dream about transition, but they never act upon that dream.

To make a dream come true, we must turn our dreams into goals. You can’t just think about a dream. You have to write it down. You have to say it out loud. Think of Martin Luther King’s great “I Have a Dream” speech. When you say a dream out loud, it becomes possible to you and others.

Don’t worry if your dreams don’t seem possible. Write down all your dreams for your gender transition.

My transition timeline might help you see how long some things might take. Below are some of the dreams that other transgender people have had:

  • Social
    • Learn about transition options
    • Learn self-acceptance
    • Choose a name
    • Practice voice
    • Set up a long-term plan
    • Join a support group
    • Improve appearance
    • Change eating and exercise habits
    • Change handwriting
    • Come out to family
    • Save relationship
    • Couples therapy
    • Be in a sexual relationship
    • Get married after transition
  • Medical
    • Complete facial hair removal
    • Complete body/genital electrolysis prior to surgery
    • Improve voice though self-practice
    • Improve voice through lessons
    • Have voice surgery
    • Get a good hair prosthetic
    • Surgically improve hairline
    • Grow hair longer
    • Regrow some lost hair
    • Get hormone levels into female range
    • Get a trachea shave
    • Get a nose job
    • Get top surgery
    • Lose weight
    • Have bottom surgery
  • Legal
    • Get legal name/gender change
    • Prepare a will
    • Get a divorce
    • Get new identity documents
    • Move and go deep stealth
    • Transition at current job
    • Transition at new job

Step 2: Write down your dreams  

As you write down your dreams, add the rough time frame in months or weeks (not years).

Once you write down all your dreams, you will need to change them based on reality. Then we will call them goals.

This is your transition wish list!

Next: Your assets