Penka Kouneva, aka “Vera Lindner,” is a Bulgarian-American anti-transgender activist who produced the 2023 anti-trans film No Way Back. This supplemental information outlines her path to anti-transgender activism.
2022 IWF profile
This is a transcript of an interview she did with Independent Women’s Forum.
There is a huge overlap between autism and transgenderism, and the professionals need to be asked, “Why, why are there so many trans-identified individuals who are also autistic?
I am a mother of 15-year-old daughter who began to identify as transgender in the summer of 2020, during the lockdown. At the time we didn’t know that our child has autism. She’s highly functioning autistic, what used to be called Asperger‘s. Gifted, highly intelligent. During the lockdown, these eighth graders were not really interested in school. It was such a time of trauma and confusion. What these girls did is they started watching TikTok and Instagram videos all day long. I mean pretty much nonstop, and what I noticed over the summer of 2020, these four girls who were part of a friendship group where only one girl identified as transgender, they began kind of nudging each other to also identify as transgender, to make up male names, male pronouns.
And in August of 2020 my daughter also started to identify as transgender, which was a total shock. I didn’t expect it to happen because up until the week before she made the declaration, she said, “I’m a proud lesbian and I’m a Democrat,” so I thought, “This is perfectly fine. I’m cool you’re a proud lesbian, that’s fine.” And then a week later, she said, “Don’t call me a woman. Don’t call me a girl. Don’t call me she. I am a guy I’m your son.”
We’re like “OK. Exploration is fine. You know, try different things.” What happened immediately after the trans declaration is that she began to ask for things. She said “I want testosterone. I want you to buy me these things from Amazon. They’re like boosting for testosterone. I want a binder.” And this is where I really understood there is a medical harm. There is a medical destruction involved in changing one’s sex. And this is where I had to draw the line.
So earlier in June of the lockdown year 2020, my child very much demanded to see a gender specialist. My intuition told me that this is not a good path, and I said, “Listen, I’m going to find an LGBT supportive therapist, but not necessarily a gender therapist.” We chose an older woman lesbian in her mid-70s. I trusted her experience, especially her perspective as a lesbian, something I don’t have. As soon as my daughter announced the transgender self-identification, and a new name, the therapist began to call her by the new name and call her “he.” At the time I spoke with a therapist via email basically saying, “My daughter has autism, ADDF, anxiety, and depression. Why isn’t it cool anymore to be a lesbian? Can you explore these issues?” I also wrote to the therapist. “Out of the five friends, four are now identifying as transgender. Could this be peer influence?” None of these questions were ever addressed.
The therapist said, “Testosterone is going to bring you gender congruity. Try to see if you can. Call your parents’ insurance to ask if you’re eligible at the age of 14,” basically confusing her even more. Instead of actually exploring the real issues. I feel very strongly that the therapist was giving very wrong ideas, very confusing ideas to my child. Ultimately leading to my child falling into a mental breakdown. Which exemplified itself as a total depression. My child was in her room all day long lying on the floor, catatonic with the cell phone in her hands, watching TikTok videos. I did ask the therapist, “Please speak with my child to essentially minimize the time on social media,” and the therapist’s reply was, “Oh, you know, she has a broken heart. She hast to soothe herself and distract herself with social media.”
As a mother, my intuition told me that I had to approach this problem holistically. We had anti-depressants, medications, we had physical movement, and being in touch with nature. We hiked. We did exercises, and basically we left our community. We left our home in Southern California, and I used this as the reason why we just wanted to go on hiatus from the therapist. I understood intuitively that I had to be very diplomatic, that I couldn’t make a statement that would get me in trouble, because I already had read stories where parents had lost custody of their children, because of their gender critical views. In my mind, I was determined not to allow this person to poison my child’s mind anymore.
My daughter had a summer job as a volunteer in a farming community. And that return to real people, real stories, spending less time on social media, has been the most healing, gradually over time, especially with the medications and being outside. The mental health of my child started to improve.
What I had to do is show love, support, and kindness without affirming the delusion. Without the affirming the ideology, and drawing a very clear boundary that you’re loved, you’re safe, but we will do absolutely nothing medical until you are 18.
I have been a lifelong voting Democrat since I was naturalized in 2002. I’m profoundly disappointed that the Democratic Party has chosen to affirm a delusion, and a very toxic ideology that attacks these vulnerable children, these children, who come from trauma, who come from adverse childhood experiences, who are neurodivergent, such as autistic, or with ADD, ADHD. I entrusted my child with professionals, and instead of the teachers and the doctor saying, “OK now let’s get to the bottom of this. Why are you saying you’re not a girl?” The teachers and the doctors blindly affirmed. They perpetuate the delusion.
We’re talking about autistic people who think in black-and-white, they don’t see nuance. They hyperfixate over ideas. Most people say, “Oh, when you confirm your child, they will blossom, this is their true, authentic self.” This is not true. Their true, authentic self is she’s an autistic woman. She’s a girl, she’s not a boy. These children need to be taught what is the reality, and they need to be taught coping skills, and just skills to live to be functional adults. Instead, their minds are being poisoned with lies, within truth, and harmful ideology.
And as a parent who has watched this firsthand with my child with her friends, I have to fight this. There’s no other way for me.
References
Bolar, Kelsey (September 9, 2022). Identity Crisis: California Mom Says Gender Ideology Drove Autistic Daughter Into Mental Breakdown. IWF https://www.iwf.org/identity-crisis-vera/
Jones, Brad (September 8, 2022). Mom of Ex-trans Daughter Seeks to Expose ‘Social Contagion’ in Documentary. Epoch Times https://www.theepochtimes.com/mom-of-ex-trans-daughter-seeks-to-expose-social-contagion-in-documentary_4719361.html
Independent Women’s Forum (September 9, 2022). Identity Crisis: California Mom Says Gender Ideology Drove Autistic Daughter Into Mental Breakdown. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lVlIQFVkAA