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Same-gender loving transgender people

People in our community have the same range of sexualities as any other group of people. Some of us are primarily or exclusively attracted to people with the same gender identity.

You are part of our community!

Same-gender loving (or SGL) people in our community are just as valid and deserving of love as anyone else. Some people who are questioning their own gender identity think they can not make a gender transition because of their same-gender love. That is not true. Many people who have been identified as “straight” or “heterosexual” before have found love with a same-gender partner after transition. Sometimes they even stay with the same partner before and after transition.

In the past, many same-gender loving people had a hard time getting trans health services because “experts” didn’t believe they existed. That is not true any more!

Some people do not wish to be in relationships with transgender people. That is OK. We all have our own biases and preferences. This includes people who are sex and gender minorities. That is also OK.

Some same-gender loving people have had disputes with gay men and lesbians who are very loud about not wanting to date us. These “gender critical” people, also called “trans-exclusionary” people, have caused a lot of distress. Some have even spread lies about same-gender loving people in our community. That is not OK!

Do not let people who criticize our community stop you from being yourself! You deserve happiness and love, and it will be there for you after transition!


Same-gender loving is also linked to many other terms for sexual orientations and identities, including:

  • transgender lesbian
  • transbian
  • transdyke
  • transfemme
  • transbutch
  • transgender gay
  • transfag
  • gayboi

Sarah Knight popularized the term transbian in the 1990s and owned domains about same-gender living trans women.

Trans women

Many trans women are in loving relationships with other women. This includes relationships where both women are trans as well as relationships with cisgender women. Trans women in long-term relationships or marriages with other women include:

  • Becky Allison (born 1946)
  • Caitlyn Jenner (born 1949)
  • Alexandra Billings (born 1962)
  • Jennifer Finney Boylan (born 1958)
  • Riley J. Dennis (born 1993)
  • Gigi Gorgeous (born 1992)
  • Jan Morris (1926–2020)
  • Martine Rothblatt (born 1954)
  • Gwendolyn Anne Smith (born 1967)

Many trans people are also in relationships with other trans people. For example politician Zoey Zephyr and journalist Erin Reed are in a committed relationship, as are Becky Allison and Margaux Ayn Schaffer.

Trans men

Trans men in long-term relationships or marriages with other men include:

  • Nick Adams (born 1963)
  • S. Bear Bergman (born 1974)
  • Jack Bee Garland (1869–1936)
  • Matt Kailey (1955–2014)
  • Trystan Reese (born 1982)
  • Zeke Smith (born 1988)
  • Lou Sullivan (1951–1991)


Sullivan, Lou. We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan

Biff and Trystan (


Queer Trans Project (


  • originally published in 2010 by Mira Bellwether (1982–2022)

Trans Fertility (