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Paying for gender transition: Modify your dreams

Sometimes it’s the reality.

If after modifying your spending, your income, and your time frame, you are unwilling or unable to make a realistic spending plan, you might consider changing your dreams.

Remember that equation?

Dreams + Reality = Goals

Well, it’s still in effect. In this case, you had a dream, but when you are faced with reality, that dream is not as important a goal as you’d originally thought.

Perhaps you thought you had your heart set on going to Schrang for SRS, but you can settle for Menard’s lower rate now that you see the effort it would take to go to Schrang. That’s the best way to put a change in dreams into perspective.

Changing a dream is a compromise, but it’s one you must be comfortable with. Don’t settle for compromise unless you feel it was a good decision. It has to be a happy compromise, one you can live with.

This is not failure!

Perhaps doing these exercises has made you realize that SRS, or even transition, is not worth the effort and sacrifice for you. Better to realize that now than further down the road. While this realization may not seem like a good thing right now, or it might disappoint you or depress you, keep in mind that this whole section is about discovering your priorities. There is no shame in modifying your dreams, because you now know that what you dreamed was not in reality what you wanted.

In fact, this realization is a great success. This section was designed to make you think long and hard about what you really want and what would really make you happy. The only challenge is to find out what that is. Perhaps it’s just being on hormones. Maybe it’s expressing yourself outside of traditional gender roles. Whatever it is, I hope you’ll look back over the values you did in Exercise 1 and think about what you want in life.

If you modify your dreams, you should feel good about your decision and plan of action. If you are disappointed or depressed, you need to keep thinking about why you feel that way. You should discuss this with your therapist, because it indicates that you have some uncertainty about what you really want in order to be happy.

On to the home stretch

So, anyone who goes on from this page has gone through the whole process.

You’ve contemplated and researched your:

  • Values
  • Dreams
  • Net worth
  • Spending patterns
  • Estimated transition costs
  • Options for transition financing

That means all we have to do is refine our goals just a little more and decide on your best option.

Next: Planning your timetable