From Within

Chapter Sixteen (Adult)

It was just one big blur.  Vicky's head swirled, dazzled by the bright white lights in the ceiling which she looked up to.  She groaned in confusion of what was happening, where she was, her head rolled onto the side and there she could see a smiling face, albeit very blurred.  A hand then reached out to hers and she managed reach out and touch, she could hear the murmuring.


"It's all going to be just fine" said the voice, she then dropped back into sleep.


Some hours later, Vicky came back around, slowly, still with the bright fluorescent lights shining in her eyes, she groaned again and blinked as she tried to clear her groggy eyes.  Suddenly a hand appeared within sight handing her a tissue, she took it, unable to respond with a thank you, and wiped her eyes from the grogginess.  Her vision began to return slowly and her head rolled to one side again.


"Hi again sweetheart" smiled the face, which slowly came into focus, it was Vicky's mum.  "Everything is just fine and apparently the surgery went very well indeed" she smiled further.

"Uhhh..." Vicky groaned in acknowledgement of her mum's voice, if not really being able to take the words in right at the present moment.

"You made it honey!" said a deeper voice.  She gazed into the corner and saw Alex just about, she smiled back acknowledging his presence as well.

"Your dad is looking after Emily tonight, since she is still not very well" Ellen said, tailing off, unsure if Vicky could hear or understand her properly as yet. "Can you understand me Vicky?" she asked.


Vicky nodded and smiled again, as she slowly recovered some sense of consciousness from the operation, her gender confirmation surgery[1].  After two years almost of waiting, she had finally had the operation done in South East England, and everything had seemingly gone according to plan, and despite recovery never being comfortable with the nature of the surgery involved, there were no foreseen difficulties ahead, beyond the usual pains of the packing, and soon enough dilation.  She managed to keep her eyes open, but having been in the operating theatre for five hours almost, she had been through a lot, and had come through it looking pretty strong all things considered.  She managed to keep her eyes open a bit, but the pain got to her, and she was able to self administer morphine to ease the pain, as she did, she drifted off again, until the next morning.


The sun shone in through the large window that looked out on to rolling hills and the English Channel beyond, it was a nice day, a bit breezy, and the sun was out with only a few clouds hanging in the air, Alex looked outside the window on occasion, and turned back to the TV, their unease about Vicky's state had eased away when she came around the previous evening, albeit somewhat late.  Ellen read a magazine that was on the coffee table and looked frequently at Vicky, to see if she had woken up, but she hadn't as yet.  Half an hour passed by quickly, and there was a knock on the door, and in entered Chris and Emily, who had just driven down that morning since Emily was feeling much better.  Chris slumped in one of the chairs with a big sigh.


"That's the second time I have had to do that journey in the space of three days!  I shall be glad to have a good sit down and a nice cuppa" he smiled looking very drawn.

"Tea, yes?  Anybody else?" perked up Alex who was somewhat numbed by boredom, not that he didn't care, but he just found it a little difficult looking at Vicky's slightly pale face and the drips and other equipment all 'wired' into her, usually such an angelic sight to him, this however unnerved him somewhat.  He got up to all the nodding faces and headed out down to the corridor where the coffee and tea machine was located, and quietly shut the door behind him.

"So everything has gone very well?" asked Chris, already knowing the answer but in an effort to ease the silence, he thought he may as well ask.

"Yes, everything went very well apparently.  She did come around last night but she wasn't really with it at all, and looked in some pain, she can self administer morphine you see" Ellen said pointing at the various tubes.

"Oh, yeah, I see, when did they say she will be a bit more aware of things going on around her?" Chris continued to quiz.

"When she wakes up?" Emily smiled, not meaning to be flippant.

"Well, like Emily says, when she wakes up, she's been asleep a good eleven hours now, but then she never liked getting out of bed anyway!" laughed Ellen, which was followed to a few laughs in the room, as Alex entered looking around as he balanced three cups.

"What?" he said sheepishly thinking they were talking about him!

"Nothing silly, we were talking about Vicky!" giggled Emily.

"Oh... well I knew that, honest, I was just, erm, testing, yes" Alex said looking down as he slurped on his tea.

"Yeah, right" smiled Emily.

"Oh, I didn't know what you would like so I got a carton of apple juice for you" Alex said throwing the carton to Emily.

"Hey, thanks!" Emily smiled, knowing exactly what Vicky saw in him.  She was in very good spirits and perked up "So you are definitely sure you don't have a, err, younger brother then?" she laughed as she took a small sip on the juice through the straw.

"Nope!  I'm the only one, but then we could ask the surgeons if they could clone me since we are here" said Alex joking with Chris and Ellen just sitting back listening with Chris looking out at the window.

"Two of you... don't scare me like that!" Emily carried on throwing the banter back at him.

"Hey!  You are such a meanie" he said smiling as he slurped on his tea again.

"Looks like someone's picked up some of Vicky's words" Ellen said with a grin.

"Well... I guess!" Alex said.


All of a sudden there was a rather groggy groan coming from the bed, it was Vicky.  She hadn't opened her eyes, but her arms moved a little, and she slowly opened her eyes, Ellen got up and wiped the sleep from her eyes, but Vicky's eyes were hardly open, she kept on blinking with a rather dull look in her lips, as if she was drunken by sleep and drugs almost.  Slowly her eyes blinked to fuller life.


"Hey honey, decided to join us from the land of snooze then?" smiled Alex looking over his mug of tea as he carried on slurping, a bad habit of his.

"Uhhh" Vicky groaned still looking as if she was drunk, as she began to wake up a bit more.

"Well that sounds like my girl!" laughed Alex.  Vicky managed to creep a little smile in as she turned around to the bright light shining in through the window and focussed on mum, dad, and Emily, again mustering another slight smile to them.

"Good night's sleep then?" asked Ellen.  Vicky paused mustering her strength to get some meaningful words out.

"No" she gasped almost.

"Oh, were you in a lot of pain my baby?" frowned Ellen seeing her so helpless, almost as if they had forgotten what she was even there for or what had been done.

"No, bad, back" she replied wiping her eyes with her finger, with a yawn.


She woke up slowly and managed to gain something of full awareness within half an hour, although hardly jumping up and down.  She lifted up her bed covers and looked down there.  There wasn't much to see, all she wanted to know if that parasite really was indeed gone for good.  She was on a strict clear fluids diet, which meant she had some lovely treats, not.  From the delights of vegetable or chicken flavoured water, or indeed water, she liked the sound of sorbet.


"Hey it's Sunday, isn't it?" she said with a slight grin.

"Yes, why honey?" answered Ellen.

"Well shouldn't they be doing roast dinner flavoured water" she laughed, feebly, as she put the menu back down.  Despite everything that had been done the previous day she was still in good spirits evidently.  Problem was she wouldn't be able to eat for another three days at least, and by then she would definitely be gasping for that roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, vegetables, roast potatoes and gravy, as she thought to her self.  She took a glance at the jug of water and asked Ellen if she could pour her a glass since she was closest to her bedsides.  She took a sip and looked up at the TV which she only just noticed was on.

"Oh no, not Rugby!" she groaned.

"Hey leave it out, I put up with you a lot" laughed Alex as he was engaged on the action.

"They're all so ugly!" she laughed.

"Well they certainly haven't de-sexed you have they honey!" he said murmuring slightly as he gasped at the failed attempt at a try being scored.


It was about half past one in the afternoon, and some nurses came in to inform what was required as there was a change of shifts, instructions were given and also for one nurse to empty the catheter soon, which Vicky mentioned a build up of pressure.  Not exactly nice surgery this at all, and some may even say dehumanising, but it was the final result for which made this all worthwhile, in fact the final result was already there but not to actually see.  By this time, Vicky had also perked up somewhat, feeling better, still in some discomfort as this was hardly minor surgery, but she was able to hold conversation comfortably and by all accounts as time passed, you would not have guessed she had such major surgery the previous day.  Another nurse entered and emptied Vicky's catheter, hardly a pleasant sight but Emily closed her eyes as the nurse entered the bathroom which was behind where she was sat.  It was expected that the surgeon would pop by that day, and also Vicky had heard a rumour that even her psychiatrist, Russell Reid[2] sometimes popped by to see his patients, which she thought if true, was such a kind gesture for him to do so.  Chris had dozed off from all the driving he had to do, and looked peaceful enough with the slight breeze blowing in through the window which helped free up the otherwise rather stifling hot summer's air.


"Hey, Vicky, me and Emily are going to get a bit of fresh air for a few minutes, just need it, is that OK?" Ellen asked her.

"Yes, sure, wish I could!" she smiled.  They left the room which left Alex, and her dozing dad.

"Hey look, we can talk in private now if you want to Alex, I know it's a bit difficult with them around sometimes" she smiled, holding her hand out.  Alex wandered over the bed side and sat down where Ellen was sat and held her hand.

"Well, it all went well, didn't it?" she smiled.

"Yes, it does seem to have done!" he answered.

"Are you OK?" Vicky asked seeing something in his eyes,

"I'm, alright, I was just quite upset earlier on.."

"Oh?  What sweetie?".

"Just seeing you there lying helpless and pale, it just scared me a bit" he said with his head lowered.  Vicky paused wondering what to say, but there wasn't much to be said.  She reached out to kiss Alex on the cheek.

"Everything will be fine, we will all get through this, but I can't imagine what you must think of all this, I mean you hardly expected to have a girlfriend who would have to have.." she paused with Alex looking curious.

"What?" he asked.

"Well what I have had to have done, I mean, it's hardly normal is it, I just feel bad sometimes" she sighed.

"Why feel bad, all that matters is what we have for each other, love.  All this, well, whatever you call it, this sex change stuff, it doesn't mean anything to me.  You haven't had a sex change to me anyway.."

"What on earth do you mean?!" Vicky said butting in.

"To me, and yourself in your heart and to those who love you, you've always been a girl, nothing else.  I know you have had to have various things done, but it doesn't change what you are to me, or your family, I guess" he tailed off wondering what she must think of him, he looked at her eyes looking rather blubbery "Don't cry in sadness sweetheart"

"I'm not..." she said sniffing.

"The only thing that can happen to our love, is for it to grow deeper and deeper with every day" he said reaching out to cuddle her as best as he could in the bed.


Vicky could not help but cry, no matter what, Alex always had the right thing to say, well, mostly - he sometimes put his foot in it when he had a few too many beers to drink, but for all his fallacies, that did not matter to Vicky, because they were all part of him, and she loved everything about him.


"And besides" he said "I never, well, you know - saw, anything before now, and I don't see you any differently, so don't worry about this stuff changing things for the worse, it can only be for the better, and I never have seen you any other way than what you are now!" he carried on.  Vicky just looked love struck again as she looked in his eyes.

"I love you" she said as the tears dropped from her eyes.

"I love you too" he said holding her hand tight.


She held on to his hand closely, Ellen and Emily walked in not long afterwards to still find Chris dozing in the chair by the window and to find the love sick puppies holding hands looking into each others eyes often enough.  They had been together for almost two years, and Vicky's gender confirmation surgery was the ultimate ending to her dysphoric situation.  The hormones had been kicking around for just as long as she had been with Alex, which by this time was one year and nine months, but they preferred to say almost two years!  Indeed this surgery also meant Vicky had lived in her natal gender for two years by this time, and had hit the eighteenth mark not so long ago.  They had a great time, her with her college friends celebrating her two years at college that had ended and finished all of her A Level exams, she was well set up to get to the University she wished to go to, to train as a primary[3] school teacher, she had long known she wanted to work with children, but she never knew if all this would be possible, would the children see something in her?  Children are incredibly perceptive, they say what they see, they do not see any of the social clues as pointers to gender, it's merely appearance.  Fears were allayed however when she started her "First Steps In Teaching" course at a primary school, in fact her old primary school, some of the teachers knew her.  Including one teacher who sometimes joked about her, hanging around with the girls, but nobody had a problem with that, and there was no real implicit need to tell parents or the children since she passed seemingly well enough. As such there was no need for such disclaimers.  In fact Vicky soon came to realise children were the real acid test, would they get the right pronouns for someone they had never met, would suspicions be raised?  In fact, two children did notice something, after all she had only been transitioned for under a year at the time, however she had built great confidence in herself, and she knew she would surmount any difficulties that faced her.  She often wondered to start with what some of the children were talking about when she first entered, it was very rare for her at this stage to get someone to notice something, let alone say something (almost always meant in harm if ever said).


It turned out that the children talking quietly hadn't noticed anything, they just looked in interest at who this new person was, not as in, is she a girl or a boy?  As she began to build confidence in herself from this, something changed about her.  Suddenly she was more open to doing things she once turned down in her days of being called another name.  Now she would join in with games, because there was no competitiveness involved (unlike P.E.), she could use her experience in sorting out any bullying and teasing, and made sure she picked teams, as she knew what it was like to be the child left on their own and last to be, grudgingly, picked.  It was only for three months apparently the course, but she loved it so much she stayed on for six months in all, and at the end had to leave, she didn't want to, it was the highlight of her week.  Teaching the water cycle, marking spellings, playing tig[4], and yes she started playing football for fun, drawing and painting, she loved it because she had something of great interest in working with children.  There were some real stars that she really admired for their knowledge and sheer humanity even despite their age, she saw something these children often had that adults of this world should learn from.  In essence she was living her childhood again while she could, the childhood she never really had, gripped by the suffocating grip of transsexualism.  So much for a pervert, the fetishist, or the depraved sexual thing that some people would misunderstand a transsexual for.  In a way, despite her being pretty much stealth about her situation, she knew that she had something positive to do.  To set a good example to the children, and to look out for those who were so often just left at the sides to suffer humiliation and mockery, leading to an ultimate despair that nobody loved them.  And then... April 29th, 1999.  That date said enough for Vicky, she almost never even realised what she was to herself, let alone those around her.


She had nothing much, she didn't have lots of money, or all the flashy clothes, a big house and lots of material possessions, she learnt that rather than totally ignore the past, she realised that all of it, no matter how treacherous it may have been at times, had made her the person she was.  She wasn't bitter, grudging and a soul of woe, but rather one of light and hope.  She had all she needed in her life, love.  The love her parents had shown, the love her boyfriend had shown, the love that never broke the special bond with her sister.  In fact Emily gave her a card for Vicky's eighteenth that made her weep, and weep.  She wrote inside, "You told me this when I was six.  I didn't quite understand back then.  But that caterpillar really has become a delicate butterfly you always knew you were, you always were my sister.  I always loved you, I always will.  Lots of love, Emily xxxxxx".  She was very lucky with Alex, he wasn't perfect, but as said that was part of him, part of the person that Vicky loved, every bit of him.  This was all she ever wanted in her life, anything else was above and beyond anything she could ever desire, expect, or have planned for.  This person that life had made her, was now a fully functioning member of society, no matter how much it tried to reject her with sheer gross intolerance, she bounced back and showed that even if everybody says you are not wanted, that you are wrong, if you know what is in your heart, that is all that ever matters, and you are in fact in the right.  The work with the children clearly proved she could do the work, and taught her even more so to keep her head held high, because most of the children didn't suspect anything, in fact only two.


Things would get better beyond there as well, and with that head held high, she could smile about that slightly secret past, and the positive influence that it gave her to make an entirely positive impact on the children.  She would just listen to their unbiased, unpolluted view of the world, and smile in admiration, some needed a little picking up, but often she listened with sincere intent to help, and to encourage.  She taught the value of true friends, and they were the ones that really mattered, to ignore the nasty people, and tell somebody about the problem so it can be sorted out.  And sure enough she did.  When she left for her last day, the children all made her a card saying "We'll miss you Victoria!", with all their names and a little message, some quite cheeky.  This meant the world to her, despite all the fears she would be chased out for being a 'freak', she was welcomed in and succeeded where some often said she would fail, or at least "it will be very difficult" they would say.  She knew it would be, but that never stopped her.  Maybe it is a sad reflection in a way, that to really integrate you have to pass well enough not to look noticeably gender variant, this society has a lot of changing to do, and that won't happen in Vicky's lifetime certainly she guessed.  But, she always knew the value of one person's voice, and if everyone speaks up, slowly people around them will be enlightened to a more positive approach, an individual may not be able to change much very often alone as an individual, but if those individuals combined to speak the truth of themselves, they surely have the right to put the record straight.  She may have been living a life of stealth, but there were ways she could reach out, she would figure them out, so that one day she, and her brothers and sisters would not be looked on as freaks, the outcasts, the perverts or the paedophiles that often slurs the name of gender dysphoria or transsexualism, but as people with a heart and soul, just like anybody else.  She had evidently thought much about this, and it was these small things like the card from the children in the classroom, or her sister, or Alex's touch that inspired her so much in life.


Some weeks had past, and Vicky had been released from hospital and was up and about, though it was hardly without any pain!  She was healing, but she was still sore, and not in any way back to her former active self, no doubt that would return soon enough, she just rested up while she could, and had to go through the horrible routine of dilation, required to keep the vagina open, and to potentially increase depth, which was of some relative importance, keeping it in perspective, she had managed a respectable 5 1/2" - hopefully keeping up the vigorous dilation routine would maybe give her the extra inch.  She looked down at it not necessarily in total awe but more that it looked just so right on her, she didn't have to look down anymore to the parasite that damaged her for long enough.  She was of course thinking that not before long, she might be able to, test the water so to speak with Alex.  She still had a few more weeks to go before she felt she would be comfortable, which would make her around two months post operative.  She was obviously no prude, she knew what she wanted, and it was quite evident on her eighteenth how much aggravation it brought her, and Alex.  To her sex was not everything by any means, but sometimes when the moment is just right, like her eighteenth, things would be somewhat intensely passionate, but the suddenly it would, stop!  She did love the cuddling and kissing, the moments of gazing and being close, that mattered more to her than intercourse, but it would be foolish that she never thought of sex.  In fact "controversially" she argued that her libido had actually increased once on oestrogens and that the anti-androgen had not affected it at all, besides she had nothing of any libido worth speaking of beforehand.  Because of this she did think about it a bit more, and within near two years her and Alex had been together, it wasn't as if she hadn't seen his rather proud, shall we say, tackle! 


She was really quite yearning for that romantic night with him, alone, heightened by deep, intense passion, when he would then make passionate love to her...  She often snapped out of these dreams with a nasty fall, but not anymore, she rightfully explored her genitalia, not at all scared about it, slowly feeling some sensation returning.  By this point she was also rather bored with the medical stents, or dilators.  Which is why at the weekend, Vicky and Emily went into town and nipped into Ann Summers[5] for something a bit more, exciting!  She was not at all afraid about this, and it didn't trouble her in her mind of her burgeoning sexual activity.  Some would probably baulk at this, decrying this as the sign of those sex crazed transsexuals, but that to her was just rubbish, she would rightfully spit it back in their faces and not be ashamed and at least was not prudish enough to deny her desires.  She didn't buy a vibrator at this point, nothing too vigorous, but happily took the rather large dildo.  She also had to get used to the idea that her sister Emily was not the little innocent angel anymore, who by now was fourteen, which was a bit odd at first trying to overcome the memories of her playing innocently with her dolls and other toys, to now buying items in Ann Summers!  But she too was no prude and both were exploring what any girl generally does during their teens.  After leaving the shops they entered the shopping centre loos and popped the bags into an everyday shopping carrier bag graced with the less attention grabbing words of "Asda"[6]


They arrived home to find Alex was sitting in the kitchen with Ellen over a cup of tea, just chatting.


"Hey Girls!" he yelled out as they shut the front door.

"Hi Alex" yelped Emily. "What shall we do with these?" she whispered to Vicky pointing to the bag.

"Oh, I'll put it in my top draw hon, just tell them I have gone to the loo" she whispered as she slipped upstairs.

"Well she left quickly" smiled Ellen.  "I bet she's worn out!" she laughed.

"Well, she needed the loo more than anything" answered Emily, duly there was a flush on the chain, followed by the sound of running water, and then footsteps down the stairs, slowly.

"Hiya" Vicky said walking in giving Alex and peck on the cheek.

"Hey you, how's my girl" he asked.

"Tired, and probably going to have a lie down soon" said Vicky looking drawn, and she did want to lie down, but it would be a lie not to say she was not interested in trying out her new purchase!

Ellen poured her, Emily and Alex a cup of tea "There you go, oh Emily.  Some boy called for you earlier, I think he was called Tom?" she looked with a wry smile.  Emily just froze, wondering what to say,

"Oh, him.  So he did phone me..." she grinned.

"Love is in the air hey Em's?" joked Alex.

"We'll see, I think I'll phone him back, or should I wait for him to?" she said looking very nervous!

"Well how much do you like him sis?" Vicky asked just rather calmly as if this was one of their private sisterly chats.

"I'll phone him then!" she quipped as she grabbed the tea and dashed off upstairs with her mobile phone to speak to him in her room!

"Hey look at you girl, looks like you're besotted!" Ellen grinned, "Now I have two love sick puppies to look after, just as well James is well, a normal fifteen year old boy" she tailed off shaking her head with a laugh to herself.  "I don't mean it, he's lovely really!".

"Heh, well he gives dad some company and someone for Alex to play on the computer games with, no point asking me, hey hunnie?" she said nudging Alex who was just listening.

"Err, yeah!  Unless I want to win all the time, easily..." he tailed off purposely antagonising in a playful manner.

"Hey!  No fair, give me Pac Man any day and I'll thrash you boy!" she laughed back with a wide grin.

"It's a deal!" he joked.

"Hey do you want to come upstairs for a bit, just for a chat?" Vicky asked, not really quite telling everything.

"Sure, sure, thanks for the tea Mrs J" he said getting up brushing off all the cookie crumbs.

"Oooh look at you, you little cookie monster" Vicky said all soppily reaching out to kiss his cheek before she got off the stool.

"Dinner won't be ready till late OK, Alex is staying" said Ellen as she gathered up the mugs and put them in the washing up bowl.  Alex and Vicky wandered off out the kitchen and up the stairs,

"I really want to show you something, but we can still chat!" she whispered with a wide smile.

"Oh yeah..." said Alex with a wink.


Alex just sat down waiting to see what until now he had not in a way, dared look at.  Vicky drew the curtains and flicked the bedside lamp on.


"Nothing is going to happen, I'm afraid my baby, I'm still, sore, you know what I mean" she said smiling.

"That's fine, I didn't even think of it" he said.

"I'll give you another six seconds then and I'll ask then" she grinned.


Alex watched with relative interest, after all he had never ever seen Vicky undress below the waist ever before, not he wanted to see that either, but this was a kind of first. 


"I'm sorry, but I've not got any sexy underwear on, just baggy knickers right now honey" she laughed as she dropped her skirt down.

"Yeah... I'm sure I could persuade you to change that when thing heal up, huh?" he joked. 


However by now he was rather engaged on her body, her relatively slim waist and the curves of her hips and her legs, suddenly he crossed his legs, as if there was need to hide it.  Vicky looked very nervous, as if she was about to disappoint, she lowered her knickers down and stood before him.


"Well, sorry it's not much to see" she frowned.

"Hey why the frowning, this is you you're talking about and you are one sexy lady..." he said tailing of.  "Hey why don't you take that top and bra off, see the whole you for the first time in two years huh?"

"I don't know..." she said sheepishly with her legs tightly close together.

"It's me, you have nothing to fear" he said reassuring holding his hand out to touch her finger tips, she smiled, and proceeded.


Slowly she lifted her top off, leaving only her white bra, with pink ribbon in the middle, still a sucker for cute things as ever.  Alex got up and looked deep into her eyes and reached around to unhook her bra at the back and gracefully took it away, he stood back and looked at her, up and down.  Vicky soon noticed the rather pleasant bulge in his trousers, and smiled, breathing quite heavily.


"You really are something..." Alex said almost in a slurred drawl.  She blushed, and looked down again smiling.

"Hmmm, and so are you" she said putting one arm around him, and the other suddenly, grabbed down below, with a shrill squeak from him.

"Well you don't seem to have a problem finding that, do you!" he said.

"Not when it's this big" she said flattering, slowly unzipping him, and unbuttoning.  "Take your trousers off, and your shirt, I want to see you" she purred almost.

"Sure..." he said being the cool confident guy, slipping his shirt off and dropping his trousers, leaving just his boxer shorts. 


Vicky looked down with her mouth slightly open, looking lustfully, she placed her hand back on him and without notice slipped them right down.


"Hey easy girl!" he said not really knowing what to expect.

"I might not be quite ready yet, but I just wanted to feel you against me" as she pressed close "and my you are so warm and..." only to be stopped by Alex kissing her lips.

"You wanted a hand with something?" he enquired remembering what he was even in the room for.

"My hand is quite alright here!" she grinned, as she held him, just thinking about that moment they would become one.

"The dildo, not my penis I am guessing" he said not really knowing what on earth to say.  He knew about football, lager and well other important "lad things" but not girls, they were still a bit weird and an unknown, but still he quite put up with Vicky!

"Both" she grinned some more.  She wandered over to the bed and laid down rather suggestively with her legs pretty spread.

"W..." Alex stuttered looking right at her as she smiled holding her hand on her tummy. "Wow!" he said finally managed it.  She called him over with the dildo.  "And this has to fit in there" looking at the rather lengthy and well endowed object, "Quite wide isn't it..." he said still quite bemused but taking it all in good humour.

"Just get the lubricant and put a little cover it not too much but enough to cover it" he walked over and did as told, though making something of a mess.  "Now, come back here with it and put a little inside me.." she smiled suggestively.  Alex looked wide eyed.

"Inside you?" he asked rather dumbfounded still, more just not expecting this when all he came over was for a chat.

"Yes, inside me" she smiled winking.

"Oh, sure..." he squeezed some into his hands "I'll be careful, just tell me if it hurts".  He looked at the rather unknown object to him and navigated through the labia, evidently found her clitoris.  "Hey found your bean!" he joked.

"Hey!" she snapped back.

"Sorry, obviously you don't find that as funny as the lads do!" he lubed up one of his fingers and slowly slipped it in, she moaned a little as the cooling liquid rubbed her inside where some sensation was returning, he carried on doing so.  "And now, I put this in, yes?"

"Let me show you" she smiled, patting the bed for him to sit down too, as she swung her legs up on the bed.


He sat close looking, as she slowly worked the dildo inside of her, to a few moans, some because of pain, some out of pleasure, she kept on pushing and pushing till it was as far as it would go.  She looked down at herself and smiled with somewhat pride.


"It feels so good" feeling it grip her deep, and push her, and the rather large girth did something of wonders to.  She began to move it in and our to get used to the motion, with Alex looking on by now smiling and laying beside Vicky.

"Do you think you're orgasmic yet?" he asked with a suspicious tone.

"I don't" she paused as she moved it up and down "Damn this feels so, so good" with a sigh.  "I doubt it, I can just feel something, more than I did the last week, feels nice though" she smiled.


Alex inevitably started measuring himself up to the dildo, he had about the same girth, maybe a bit more, but not as long as the dildo.  But at around six inches as he estimated, he was rather proud of his tackle.


"Hey, do you think I'll suffice and meet your standards" he asked Vicky as she stopped moving the dildo, which was certainly more interesting that plain stent, she looked down at his erect penis, but knew she was certainly not quite up to it yet.

"Hmmm" she murmured as she put her fingers around it to measure circumference, which lead to a little gasp from Alex.  "I think so" she smiled reaching down to kiss.  "Just keep him in his cage for a few more weeks and you never know".  Of course she didn't want him to keep it locked up really, it was rather a nice sight to her, because it was on the right person. 


Vicky took the dildo back out slowly and put it on the side cabinet and yawned again, as Alex grabbed his shirt and put it on Vicky.


"Since you always seem to wear my football kit" he joked.

"That's because it's very sexy, on you anyway" she giggled as she stroked his cheek.

"Oh, I don't know, you've hardly turned me off sweetie, besides your legs look very sexy with that droopy shirt on you" he said as he stroked her thigh up and down.

"You know, I think I feel more sensuous than ever before honey, because that also feels very very good indeed.  Pain has to be around the corner somewhere!" she joked as she kept him stroking, much like she loved to be tickled, she always did, especially on the back.  She loved that as a child, and still did now.  Alex leaned over on top of her and straddled her,

"I hope I'm not hurting you" he said wanting to make sure.

"Nope, but you are heavy!" she joked as she wriggled around to get comfortable.

"Good..." he leant down to her face and kissed her, and they carried on doing so, cuddling and kissing, what Vicky liked most of all.  A good half an hour passed by, before Alex rolled off of her and laid by her side, slipping his football shorts on.

"Oooh, sexy!" she laughed as she watched him put them on, she had something for football kits!  "I'm feeling rather sleepy, how do you fancy sleeping here tonight to cuddle each other my baby?" she asked looking in his eyes as they laid side by side.

"Well I'm sure I could put up with it!" he joked.

"Hey!  Meanie!" she smiled back playfully hitting his chest.

"Oh come here my honey" he said pulling the bedside lamp cord.  Followed by much giggling and kissing noises.


Just as they were drifting off to sleep, in each other's arms, there was a sudden yell.  Alex jumped up,


"Honey, I think dinner's ready!" he said.

"Crap!" she said followed by laughter "I was just about to drift off then!  Well I had better give you your top back, unless you wish to wear my lovely pink top I wore today!"

"Oh and like I'll fit in that!" he laughed catching his top as it was flung across the room.


Index Page
Chapter Seventeen (Adult)

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[1] : Gender Confirmation Surgery, the author's preferred term for this kind of surgery.  Alternatives are SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery), or GRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery) - also rather disconcerting is GRS also meaning Gender Reassignment Surgery, which in the author's opinion is terrible terminology, and does not like the latter 3 personally, with GRS (Genital..) being the preferred.

[2] : Russell Reid, Gender psychiatrist.  Works from London from a Private clinic known as The London Institute, and also on the NHS for patients in Hillingdon, borough of London.

[3] : Primary School,  Sometimes split into Infant and Junior schools, covers the ages between 4-11 in the UK education system, followed by Secondary School which is 11-16, some secondary schools have a Sixth Form which covers 16-18 but some areas do not have Sixth Forms and students who wish to continue post 16 can go to a college.  In the UK no education is compulsory after the age of 16 and leaving secondary school.

[4] : Tig, also known as Tag and It.

[5] : Ann Summers, A rather popular UK high street shop that sells good related to sex or other sexual acts generally.  Nothing usually that explicit and I think their lingerie is horrible personally, but they also sell other interesting items like lip balm... (No, not quite what you are thinking of!)  And also dildos and vibrators amongst other items.

[6] : Asda, UK supermarket owned by Wal Mart.

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