From Within

Chapter Eight

Vicky's first day was just around her house, her parents had to get used to the notion of there in essence being another girl in household, when really there always had been the three, just not noticeably.  Vicky was really happy just to wander around the house, six weeks of bliss, she could be herself, she could wear what she liked, she looked very much what she wanted to, she felt so right.  Liberated from the shackles of her previous imposed gender regime, she smiled for most of the day, even if it was laying on her bed smiling as she sketched some drawings.  Vicky and Emily even danced around the house quite freely with happiness, for Ellen and Chris, this was a huge shock.  Three months ago they had suicidal "son", and now they had a happy daughter.  Vicky needed to work on her voice more, she was a bit androgynous in that department still (if such a thing is possible, in other words, to some she sounded female and to others she sounded male) but she seemed happier with it, and now that she began to use it full time, with her luckily flexible voice and good pitch range, she would soon develop the soulful and songbird like voice she had before the testosterone-regime snatched it away.




She just felt so happy, the rain clouds were parting as the splinters of sunlight broke through the cracks and the clouds dissipated into the ether and for Vicky, the sun shone in her life.  Everything was so wonderful, even just around the house, she got called her real name, her real gender, she felt so, normal yet elated at the same time.  From within her blossomed and flew the butterfly that Vicky was and had promised to Emily many years earlier that she would become, and like her sister, Vicky was a pretty looking girl.  Her nose was not to her liking, but she could probably pass quite easily in time, but that did not matter, she of course had to seek a psychiatrist's help; but that seemed marginally secondary, she had started doing what she wanted, living as a female, a daughter, a sister and, herself.


Vicky being taught well in the kitchen by Ellen cooked that Saturday night, she made everyone Sweet and Sour Chicken, and she did it very well indeed, she laid the table out and prepared the feast, everyone loved Chinese food in the Jefferies household, and Vicky knew her stuff when it came to cooking, such a versatile girl.  She called for dinner, everyone else was in the front room except Emily who stayed in the kitchen as the two girls chatted, about what they should do that week.  Emily though still younger, would be crucial to Vicky for building up confidence in the first few weeks, and besides Vicky loved her sister, it was not even considered to be un-cool for her to hang around with little sis'!  They had a good laugh and a joke about everything, Vicky's past bad habits, the good days, and not least, boys and who was hot and who was not!  The freedom!  The liberation!  The other three came into the lounge as Emily was talking about this Fireman's calendar she had snuck into her room, Ellen and Chris overheard the two girls talking about it, and they sat sat there chin resting on hands smiling and looked at each other and smiled, their daughter was blossoming so quickly.  Emily and Vicky served up the rice into one dish, the noodles to another, and placed the sauce in yet another dish, prawn crackers were on the table, as was the red wine and the glasses, perfect.


Vicky served up and sat down in her usual place, and smiled looking at her handiwork, she had enjoyed making dinner, she enjoyed the company she had, she was beginning to enjoy even the smallest things in life and really appreciating them, it meant so much to her.


"Thanks Vicky, this looks great!" said her dad smiling broadly at his newfound daughter.

"Yes, it looks wonderful honey" said Ellen as she gave Vicky a kiss on the cheek.

"Ok, everybody want red wine, only a bit for you Emily and James mind!" chuckled Chris, everyone nodded as he poured the wine into the glasses.

"I would like to propose a toast everybody, to a new beginning" said Chris.  Vicky welled up still smiling, everybody was around the table, everyone seemed happy, everything was perfect, so settled, so calm, so peaceful, so delightful.

"To a new beginning" everybody said as the glasses chinked in the middle of the table.


All four tucked into the dinner and thoroughly enjoyed it, not before long the handiwork was all gone, but everyone enjoyed it.  Vicky gathered up the dishes and took them to the kitchen and returned with a chocolate gateaux...  And how did everyone love that, always a favourite, after all, chocolate, again soon enough that too had gone.  But there was something that hadn't gone.  No, not the red wine, the bottle of Merlot had been polished off, so what was remaining?  Everybody's smile, everybody's happiness and joy.  And that included Vicky, gone were the constant spates of sadness and depression.  Ellen put her hand on her newfound daughter's and said to her,


"Vicky, I'm really proud of you, we all are, we all love you and".... Ellen and Vicky began to cry at this moment, sniffing, the two sat side by side reached over and hugged so dearly as the other three also concurred with similar musings.  This was Vicky's best day of her life, by far, so far at least.

"Thank-you..." Vicky sniffed "...thank-you so much for giving me the chance" and she started weeping again as Chris leant over and gave her a hug as well.  They stayed at the table until dark, no one wanted the day to end, but the darkness descended in the sky but not in the moods of the people around the table, by around midnight everyone decided to part for bedtime, lots of kissing ensued and "goodnights!", Emily and Vicky went upstairs and Emily invited Vicky into her room.   They laid on the bed for a long time quietly talking about what to do tomorrow, Vicky wanted to get out of the house and actually show people herself, she was not ashamed, people would recognise her, but this was her life and those people had got in the way up to now, now this new girl was on the block, they would soon come to respect the strength and courage Vicky had to actually say, "You were wrong about me, this is me".  Emily said herself and her friends were wondering whether to go to the beach or the cinema in the evening.  In the end Emily suggested maybe they should just go to the cinema tomorrow evening and go to the beach the next day.  Vicky felt that was a good idea, after all it was a Sunday tomorrow.  The two parted and hugged.


"Goodnight sis'" said Vicky,

"and Goodnight to you, sis'" said Emily.  Sweet dreams were definitely had all around.


Morning broke, and the sun shone through the curtains again, just like summer should be.  Vicky and Emily got up early, the enthusiasm for life was vivid, Vicky did not want to waste an hour, a minute of her life any longer, she was going to enjoy everything, well maybe except washing up and ironing, but you cannot please everyone.  Chris usually went to the newsagents himself for his Sunday paper, instead the two girls said they would go and get it for him.  So duly they did, Vicky took a step into the outside world for the first time, properly and the two began to calmly walk down the road, it was quiet except for the birds' singing on the telegraph wires, and then coming towards them was, a person.  But they didn't even flinch as this person walked straight passed Vicky and Emily, great!  In fact the two girls got into the village at the newsagents and sure enough the assistant recognised Vicky, but not as a boy, as a girl, they were taken back, but then this village had to get used to this; and quickly.  But the shopkeeper was friendly as Vicky smiled actually quite comfortably, she actually even paid for the newspaper and spoke to the shopkeeper a tiny bit, practicing her voice.  She heard someone behind her say "Is that the Jefferies' kid?", she just turned around with Emily gave a bitchy pout and walked out giggling away, no one but no one, was going to take away what she had now, and there was no denying Vicky was dressed as a girl as she was wearing her skimpy skirt again, she wanted to get a tan on her legs.  They walked the long way back home just so people could see her, and they did, she even caught some guys she didn't know glancing across the road looking at her, that was just the best feeling.  Her heart rate rose, not because she fancied one of the guys who was looking over, but that guys were looking, but wait had they... Then as they turned away they heard a wolf-whistle from the lads!  How that lifted her spirits even more.


After getting Chris' paper for him, the girls decided they would sunbathe in the garden on the cushioned garden furniture they had, and sat out there until the sun began to go down around five o'clock, a perfect summer's day, not a cloud in sight and the two just sat there chatting away as usual with the radio on next to them burbling away in the background.  Also, plenty of ice cold lemonade was drunk, and ice lollies, it was so gorgeously hot and the two girls managed to make the most of it, until Vicky dosed off and Emily quickly scampered off to the garden hose, turned it on full blast and ran up and shocked poor old Vicky by drenching her in ice cold water, how she jumped up and screamed and then started laughing away, she ran up the garden path and filled up a bucket with the other garden tap and began to chase after Emily, screaming and giggling like a couple of eight year olds having a water fight...  Life really was so much fun for the two of them.   Eventually Emily slipped on the grass fell over and Vicky sloshed the whole bucket of water all over Emily, who in turn got a hold on one of  Vicky's legs and tugged until Vicky also fell over, there they were, the two kids lying on the grass in the shade of the conifer trees that lined the bottom of the garden, looking up at the blue sky and the bird's singing, it really was perfect.  Vicky crawled over to Emily




"Hey sis, truce?" she said,

"Hey what makes you think I'm giving up so quickly" Emily said firmly poking her tongue out at Vicky playfully.

"Because you're shivering like me and want to get warm" Vicky smiled one step ahead.

"Well... yeah OK I am cold, truce girl?" she smiled at Vicky.  Vicky nodded and gave her sister a very big hug, she still felt on top of the world, making up for lost time, and the two sat there for a little while in the shade, shoulder to shoulder laughing away, with Vicky telling more stories of what she did with Emily when she was a little baby.  Eventually Ellen came outside to see what the commotion earlier on was to find the two girls dripping with water, she thankfully saw the funny side of it and laughed as she wander back in,

"Make sure you go straight in the downstairs shower with yourselves looking like drowned rats!  I don't want to have to clear up your mess either, girls!" Ellen laughed.


Every time Vicky heard that, girl, being referred to as one, she felt a warm feeling, a pang sensation in her stomach as the word hit her, she wasn't being called wrongly a boy any more, her female identity was recognised and allowed to flourish and she sat there so chuffed with the fact her parents had been ever so wonderful to have been able to accept within a mere three months.  She sat there just thinking about whether the sensation she felt when referred to by her name and the right pronouns, whether that would ever go away...


That night once tidied up and dressed more accordingly, Emily's friends came over, as they were going to the Cinema, as was Vicky.  Though unfortunate that a sixteen year old was mainly socialising with twelve/thirteen year olds, it was probably a good thing in the sense it allowed her to start her teens again almost in the right sense.  Of course, Emily had no idea how her friends would react to seeing Vicky, I mean they had seen her, before, but obviously saw Vicky as her brother, albeit the "weird feminine one" was one of the things that had been heard.  Duly Emily's three closest friends came over as Chris was going to give them a lift in.  Vicky sat upstairs in her room a bit scared of how the other girls would react to her presence, eventually Emily said to her friends


"Hey, I got someone else to come by the way!" she smiled

"Who is it?" asked her friend Jasmine.

"No" said Emily smiling letting them guess.

"Is it, Darren who you so do fancy and there's no denying it Em's!" said her other friend Melanie causing a lot of laughs, Emily blushed

"No, it isn't, although you are right, I do fancy him!" said Emily provoking, but she meant it,  A lot of swooning ensued!

"So who is?" said another of Emily's friends, Hannah.  Emily smiled with hands on hips.

"You're gonna have a surprise, but it's a nice one and I want you to be kind", Emily said, and she turned around and the smile became fear of the unknown, but no, Emily was going to stand strong, walk up those steps and bring Vicky back down and be proud of her sister.  And she did, she entered Vicky's room who was dressed by now very smartly in her baggy jeans and pink heart top.

"So you coming sis'" Emily asked Vicky.  She got up, picked her bag up and put it on her shoulder, and answered

"Of course, now where are your friends?" Vicky said quite firmly and getting something of an adrenaline rush, she had met these friends of Emily's before now, so the trepidation was immense.  They walked down the stairs and entered the lounge.


Silence.  The three girls recognised Vicky, after all, she was pretty much the same, just well groomed, wearing makeup and nice suitably feminine clothes too.  Vicky had thus far managed to keep a fairly feminine look and so she passed well as a girl, some people may have noticed, but she wasn't even on female hormones as yet!  And the voice too, that was different...

"Hiya!" beamed Vicky, though rather a strained beam.  The three friend's of Emily sat a bit quiet, not giggling or smirking of whispering comments.

"This is my sister, Vicky" Emily said proudly in her delightful bouncy voice "She's coming with us tonight" she continued.  The three other girls managed to eventually say something, what seemed again like a lifetime was not as bad, but still an awkward few seconds pause, they looked up at Vicky and eventually Melanie broke the silence.

"That's cool, cool top babe!" she said trying to reassure, sure there were a heck of a lot of questions remaining about Vicky, endless amounts but, intelligent Melanie knew better than to start asking all of those things straight away, Melanie was a lovely girl, very intelligent indeed and also on her side, very pretty too!  And so the other two friends followed

"Yeah, that's cool, nice to meet you" Hannah said doing her best to smile and not to also dive into asking questions.

"Hi, Vicky!" said Jasmine smiling, she wasn't so bothered about Vicky being a girl, the times Jasmine had played with Emily and Vicky when younger and thought of her as a girl was countless, so Jasmine was fine and the questions for her could wait.

"Well it's nice to meet you all" chuckled Vicky still feeling a bit uneasy.

"So you must be sixteen and finished school now?" asked Melanie.

"Sure am, really I am very glad indeed to have finished there!" said Vicky almost being able to smile about it.  Melanie continued

"So I bet you're starting college at the end of Summer!  All those fit men!" she laughed, Melanie was as said intelligent but she was a real flirt and loved the boys!  She didn't stop to think 'does Vicky like boys or other girls', because it was common knowledge that Miss Vicky Jefferies had a thing for the boys though the heavy and rather undeniable rumours of in her days of living as 'he' and 'his' evident attraction to boys.

"Too right" Vicky laughed feeling more at ease with herself and relaxing "all those fit, tanned and toned men at college, studying sounds a hard prospect now!" she joked.

"Yeah well it's alright for some" laughed Jasmine with all five girls laughing,  Duly Chris came from the back room where he was playing Football on the Play-station with James.  James came in the front room too.


"Ok gang, we ready to go yet" said Chris in his usual eloquent dad like English!

"Hi girls" butted in James who had a thing for Jasmine as he managed to semi-smile at her.

"Hey James!" all three friend's of Emily said at once, laughing that they managed to say the same thing in tandem.

"So you all off to the cinema sis'?" and he wasn't referring to Emily, but Vicky, see James too had accepted Vicky very well and didn't even think of her any different, just calling her the right names now, this was of immense boosting to Vicky.

"Yeah honey we are, think we'll be back around half past ten-ish" she said to James giving him a quick hug and kiss.  "See you later" Vicky continued.

"Yeah, you too Emily, have a good time with the girls" he joked smiling away.

"Yeah we will, just don't frazzle your eyes on the computer" she laughed.  They all said bye and just as Emily poked her head back around the lounge door to playfully poke her tongue out at James (typical brother and sister banter) he pointed to the electric guitar, that meant no more computer and ear muff time!  Emily joked by saying "Oh God!" and quickly ran out shutting the front door behind her, BLAM - on when the guitar and the ear crunching riffs ensued, they had escaped!...


The summer past quickly enough and was bright and sunny for the most part and hot too.  Vicky and Emily built up a nice tan too with all their sunbathing on the beach and in the garden, and had managed to attract some attention from the boys.  Especially when Emily was invited by a friend to a big party on the beach that summer and brought Vicky with her, they laid on the beach all day, all the girls with the boys from Emily's year and above all doing their own thing but all looking at each other, there were some nice looking boys there, and what with their tops off and legs out.... wow!  The evening began to draw in and they started a barbeque and sat on the beach into dusk, all huddled together, Vicky was the oldest and people in general had again refrained from asking the questions, though they 'knew' show she was and just thought there was little point objecting, they had seen the depressed and confused being at school or at Emily's house before, and now sat before them was a happy, bubbly and like Emily, a rather pretty girl too, so much so one of the lads who Vicky was kind of attracted to (he was better than average, Vicky's type, and one of the older ones there, fifteen years old) also had something of a crush on her too as they day past!  He knew full well that down below Vicky still wasn't 'right', but odd for a teenage boy he didn't care, he actually was quite a caring lad though outgoing, his name was Sebastian.  Eventually he shuffled up to Vicky and started chatting.  By that time the sun was setting and in an hour they would have to pack up and get the bus back home, and also the girls who had their boyfriends and the ones who found themselves getting close to other that day were all dotted around a small area sat together.  Emily was with Darren, cuddling just beyond the camp fire, and noticeably kissing away!  Sebastian sided up by Vicky who was sitting by the fire they had lit and didn't look to her side straight away, until Sebastian spoke.


"Hey Vicky, you were looking cold from where I was" he said.  Vicky chuckled a bit

"Nah, just gazing at that sunset honey, isn't it gorgeous?" she said.  She was evidently quite pleased that Sebastian had come over... she got a sudden rush... the adrenaline again  rushing and her heart pounding.

"I'm Sebastian or call me Seb, nice to meet you!" Seb said introducing himself, Vicky knew him but not that well, knew him to recognise him and have a 'thing' for him.

"Well you know I'm Vicky honey" she said still a little shy to look at him, but slightly gripping her bottom lip with her teeth, almost a sign of expectation.

"Yeah, Emily's sis', what did you think of today then?" he asked, as Vicky began to look at him, still with his top off, looking tanned and pretty toned, her eyes ran down to his legs, hmmm....

"I think it's been" she paused "almost perfect, I saw you surfing earlier, you looked cool out there" she complimented now looking at Seb but with shy eyes still not quite engaged for full eye contact all the time.

"Wow, you think" he said feeling a boost to his ego with the compliment!

"Yeah, you were, I should have joined in when you were playing volleyball too" Vicky knowing she liked the game, her heart rate was still rising, feeling very attracted to him.

"Are you cold?" Seb asked looking at the goosepimples on Vicky's arms.

"I am a bit, but I'm ok" she answered.  Seb picked up his hoodie and draped it over Vicky's shoulders.

"That has to be better" he smiled, Vicky was somehow an innate flirt, she knew just what to do, she had no dating experience, nothing, she just knew how to handle such situations with suggestive ways.  Thankfully down below wasn't reacting to her arousal as she managed to keep it in relative heed.

"Almost better" she said suggestively and looking with a suggestive smile as she slightly licked her lips, with wide loving eyes looking at him and then slowly turning her head slightly, not away from Seb but again, flirting.


Seb grasped her chin gently and pulled her toward him and, well the fireworks went off from that moment as Vicky felt Seb kissing her... The warmth that ran through her body was intense, a feeling she never had felt before as the tenderness of the moment came over her whole body, and slow hand movements from Seb on her back was... She had never felt so good about herself in her life, her innate femininity made her feel on top of the world that some boys would ignore some of the physical facts and just take her for what she really was,  The moment she had waited for all her life, to be able to date boys!  This was so liberating, all the years spent of romantic thoughts of her and a man, together hand in hand sharing their lives closely and intimately.  Seb was easily attracted to Vicky, because she wasn't scared of showing her more feminine than average nature, Seb liked this very much - rather than girls butching it up a bit, but more so the vulnerability that Vicky put over that she was indeed in need of a man in her life, the warmth radiated from her body as she felt pure ecstasy.  The couple cuddled and kissed for the rest of time on the beach except the last ten minutes where Seb held Vicky close in his arms as they huddled up together in the red delight of the shimmering sunset, it was almost the end of the summer, but Vicky's life had hardly even begun.  The feeling of being close to a man felt right to her, and it was someone she fancied too.  They walked behind everyone else talking, holding hands to the bus stop and sat together on the way back.  As Vicky and Emily drew near to their stop, the two kissed again, intimately and hugged.


"You have my number honey" said Vicky as she got up.

"I sure do!" said Seb "I'll call you soon, promise"  he smiled pleased with himself, the fact Vicky was trans had seemingly no effect on him liking her!

"See you see then luvvie" said Vicky as she walked down the bus aisle.

"Yeah, take care sweetheart" Seb said affectionately as the other guys looked at him all loved up!


Emily was likewise saying similar things to Darren.  They both blew kisses to their boys as the bus pulled away as they stood at the bus stop, noticing the banter going on in the bus between the guys who were macho and single and the ones who were macho but seemingly with swollen hearts!  The guys waved, and the two girls just began to stare in amazement at their 'catch' the two hugged in public laughing away to each other as they slowly wandered back home in the twilight hour.  The street lamps began to shimmer in the midnight blue sky, as the two girls walked down the same old road again back home laughing and joking about the day and of course, again, their boys.


College was only two weeks away for Vicky and school one week for Emily, but that did not matter because regardless of that, the two would continue to have the time of their lives wherever they were, life truly was a lot different than it was a mere five months ago, as the chit chattering faded into the distance and the giggles became faint and the footsteps became silent on a slumbering world that was only just awakening for Vicky.


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