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For parents of gender diverse youth

Thanks for caring about the health and happiness of your child! Unconditional love is so important. Parents, families, and guardians from all backgrounds have loved and supported their gender diverse kids, and we hope you will do the same!

Here are just a few famous parents with trans and gender diverse children:

More and more young people are identifying as gender diverse due to better information, greater acceptance, medical consensus, and less bullying in schools. A 2016 survey of Minnesota adolescents found that about 3% identified as transgender or gender nonconforming:

Data came from the 2016 Minnesota Student Survey, which consisted of 80 929 students in ninth and 11th grade (n = 2168 TGNC, 2.7%). Students self-reported gender identity, perceived gender expression, 4 health status measures, and 3 care utilization measures. 

Rider (2018)

In other words, almost 1 in 30 young people in one survey identified as gender diverse. Gender diverse can mean many things, though.

According to a 2018 policy statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics, a professional organization of over 67,000 pediatricians and healthcare providers, the affirmative model of care is the consensus among medical professionals.

I served on the Board of Directors of the nonprofit TransYouth Family Allies for many years, so I have helped many young people and their families. I often talk with healthcare professionals about gender identity and expression in children and adolescents. Below is a summary of the range of options for young people.

What does it all mean?

I created the chart below to help families and guardians understand issues around minors and gender.

Freedom of expression

Not all gender diverse young people make a gender transition. Many just want to express their gender creatively in ways that are not traditional for their assigned gender:

Experts now agree that affirming these young people and letting them be creative is a healthy part of development. Many young people will shift their expression more than once. Love and support are always important!

Experts recommend affirmative care

The affirmative model of care is the consensus among medical professionals. According to a policy statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics, a professional organization of over 65,000 pediatricians:

In a gender-affirmative care model (GACM), pediatric providers offer developmentally appropriate care that is oriented toward understanding and appreciating the youth’s gender experience. A strong, nonjudgmental partnership with youth and their families can facilitate exploration of complicated emotions and gender-diverse expressions while allowing questions and concerns to be raised in a supportive environment.

American Academy of Pediatrics (2018). Ensuring Comprehensive Care and Support for Transgender and Gender-Diverse Children and Adolescents

In a GACM, the following messages are conveyed:

This model allows all children to express themselves as they wish, leading to less stigma and shame.

Therapy

Within this group of gender diverse minors, some do not identify with their assigned gender. For young people whose gender identity is complex or causing them distress, may also benefit from:

Working with a therapist who specializes in gender issues for children and adolescents can help them understand their feelings and have tools to be happier. While some parents choose not to seek therapy, others have found it to be helpful.

Social transition

In addition to the kinds of expression above, some may make a social transition:

Legal transition

After a social transition and with the approval of experts and family, some make legal changes on passport or birth certificate with or without medical care:

Medical transition

Medical options are only for those who are:

Hormone blockers

Hormones

For those who adjust well to all the steps above, adolescents are sometimes approved later for hormones.

Surgery

Most young people do not have any surgery until they are legally adults. The media fixates on hormones and surgery, but those options are not available until experts and loved ones agree on a course of action based on each young person’s unique needs.

Websites

Gender Spectrum (genderspectrum.org)

Healthy Children (healthychildren.org)

Parents of Trans Youth (parentsoftransyouth.com)

TransFamily Support Group (santaclaratransfamilysupport.net)

The Constellation Project (theconstellationproject.org)

TransYouth Family Allies (imatyfa.org)

TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation (transkidspurplerainbow.org)

Children’s National Health System (childrensnational.org)

Lynn Conway (lynnconway.com)

Books and publications

Historically significant works for parents

National Center for Transgender Equality (transequality.org)

Podcasts

Love What Matters (lovewhatmatters.com)

References

American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, Committee on Adolescence, & Section on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Health and Wellness (2018). Ensuring comprehensive care and support for transgender and gender-diverse children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 142(4), [e20182162]. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2018-2162 (full text) (PDF)

Rider GN, McMorris BJ, Gower AL, Coleman E, Marla E.Eisenberg ME (2018). Health and Care Utilization of Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Youth: A Population-Based Study. Pediatrics, Mar 2018, 141 (3) [e20171683]. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2017-1683

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