The Prisoner who would be Free

Another wicked parody of Bailey's book. I wish I could say it was mine, but it was written by Di Chotomy.


Since acquiring my Doctorate in 1984, I have focused much of my career on the study of prison inmates and their psychological status in relation to their incarceration and eventual release.

Naturally, of course, it has been policy for many years to revoke the parole of any prisoner who admits to fantasies of freedom during their stay in the prison and this check is understandably foremost in the pre-release protocol.

Readers will be shocked to hear however, that many prisoners have been lying in this regard. Post release studies indicate that a considerable proportion of prisoners do indeed fantasise about freedom during their sentence. In extreme cases, this can actually become a means of escape from the dull monotony of prison life.

More shocking still is the testimony of a few prisoners who, having obtained work in the prison laundry, actually exchange their clothes for civilian attire for the purpose of stolen moments of extreme fantasies of living on the outside.

Closer study of those prisoners due for imminent release indicate particular elation and a complete reversal of the entrenched depression most experience during their stay. Some even admit to detailed planning of what they will do come their release date.

Such behaviour is clearly unseemly and cannot be compatible with stable living as a free member of society. It is my assertion therefore that prisoners general break down into two distinct types: Those that simply like freedom, and those who are attracted to the concept of freedom. The latter group cannot of course be considered true freedom lovers. Accordingly, extreme caution should be exercised when considering these prisoners for parole and early release.